I've taken a couple breaths,
but I haven't been able to steady this feeling,
where I'm lost but not alone,
at least not in my own heart and mind.
Because the darkest of days don't seem so black anymore.
And while, in truth, it's only hours,
it feels like it lasts for weeks
-- this moment where I'm lying in a field of flowers,
so raw and so unblemished.
All of the daisies and the tulips
-- Even the dandelions, because they're beautiful too. --
are brushing up against me as I continue to think of you.
And the sun is shining bright because,
even though I don't get out too much,
the heat is just so relaxing.
Well, I roll over,
smell the sweet grass,
and whisper how much I love you.
You probably don't know it,
but this is the place in which you take me to.
Which, I guess, is ironic,
since it's not at all who you seem to have grown up to be,
but I guess this is the person I see
-- Someone pure and innocent beneath those layers of personal security and arrogance.
I know I'll be back to another place,
all too different but all too familiar, just as the one before,
where I'm lonely and slightly ashamed because I don't feel right, I guess, feeling this way.
And in those moments, I don't know if I can say that it's worth it
(feeling so angry and lost and betrayed and disgusted and pained)
but for now it is.
For now, this one moment is without any hurt.
It is me wrapped up in joy.
It is me inhaling the ever-intoxicating aroma of love.
It is me being unihibited.
It is me realizing that I am not a bad person
because I would give my life for you.
