Ok first off I think you shouldn't use shortcuts in poetry like ur and u for your and you It messes up the flow, and it looks unprofessional, you should spell things out, other than that the flow was good, the word choice was simple yet effective, the emtion was clear, but it could have been stronger, try stepping up the voacb a little to add more power. I hope this isn't too harsh I am just trying to help like you asked. anyways 4/5

Very good job in this write i love how you make everyone aware of how you see it to convey the emotion is a very good talent

laura

Wow, great poem, excellently written from the beginning to the end. You created good atmosphere through it and the choice of words in it is great. You could write it in stanzas, it would be easier to read, but that's just my opinion.
Well done, 5/5 from me.

The title caught me so I had to read it, the poem keeps you attentive and it's very descriptive which is good, the spelling is something that you might want to work on though

Your Servant:
D. Johnson.