I can't believe.....

I woke up this morning
thinking that everything that happened
yesterday was a bad dream.
I looked down at my arm and to my luck
it wasn't a dream and it did happen.
It felt so right at the time and it felt so good after it
happened.
Except, now it doesn't seem right.
I know that I shouldn't and I tell myself that everyday.
Everyone thinks that I'm fine and I'm going to beat this but you guys have to realize, I've been cutting for 4 years.
And that pain I've felt for so long isn't going to
leave me.
its always going to be there and so will the
blade.