Ohhh - thats sad. :(

You did well babe for your first try for sure!!! Only thing I could say for this type of style is to try to stay away from words that sounds soooo similar in the same stanza (ie. the first stanza of your poem seemed like all the ending words rhymed rather than having a bit of contrast to words...) Does that make sense? :) Great poem - come join us in the chat room..

Mo
xxx

It was so meaningful and enjoyable to read it was for me..so sad expressions and good descriptions
Just hun;I'ts-It's

Beatifully penned,
Laura

This was a short poem which was emotion packed holding strong and powerful emotions which were portrayed sadly throughout this entrie piece. I liked the flow you had going here it worked well on such a short but sweetly sad written piece. Simple yet effective. Well done on this ~mel

Awwww. i really like this one! 5/5 from me!