Match made in HEAVEN hell came INBETWEEN

I stepped out into the bright sunlight and felt the overwhelming sense of warmth from the summer breeze. Inside myself, I can feel the pain; yet somehow this weather can never make the pain erase. He meant the world to me; he was my world, but when the sun left both of us, my world came crashing down. Its really hard to come to the realization that Im no longer his and he is no longer mine.

We spent many warm days like this together and thats why today, I sit here wondering what hes doing when he feels the same warmth that I feel. I think to myself is he still thinking of me? Does he miss spending these warm days with me?
Lifes passing us by and we dont know where its going to lead and where we may end up.

Today, as I sit here in my dull classroom wondering what Im going to do with myself and where my future may lead me to. I dont know where my life is going at the moment, before he left me, I had it all figured out. Now, I dont know how I can go on without him. A piece of my heart has been taken away from me, that piece that makes me want to strive for success, the motivation for my passion and I want it back.

The sunlight continues to shine. I feel as though I should be happy that the sun is shining but to me, I feel nothing. I now feel that the sunlight means nothing, to some people its the beginning of a wonderful day, warmth and comfort. The sunlight just means a new day and signifies nothing but pain. I wish I could feel the feeling that the warmth used to bring to me when it reached into my heart and made me feel happy.

Life journey can be painful. The breeze can make everything seem all right when really nothing is right and everyones trying to hide the pain they may feel inside. As the breeze blows so may the gossip that travels through people mouths as false stories brew. Im sitting here in the classroom as I gaze away at my classmates and I wonder what theyve said about me and exactly where there thinking as they gaze into the sunlight. We are all young and trying to grow up fast.

Every time I look at his face I want him even more. I wish I could just sleep forever and slip into my dreams and escape reality. In these dreams, we are together and everything is perfect, the way I want them to be. The thing about dreams is that, they dont last forever and in the end you must wake up. You wake up to that same sunlight as you do every other day and the overwhelming emotions start to flood back. The sunlight that is shining ever so bright suddenly feels absent and back to the realization he is not mine I go.

We had a journey once upon a time, the journey of a blossoming love. Here I sit looking at my English book and all I can see is his name engraved all over my exercise book and the memories and emotions come rushing back. It isnm in English that I think of him, every part of my day reminds me of the love we once shared. I thought I had a future with him, everything just seemed so right; I don�t know why he had to leave. We were a match made in heaven but it seems, hell came in betweem us.

I sit here crying to myself as I write this, the tears that I cry signifying the heart that I feel on this warm summers day. I know I have never cried like this or felt the sorrow that I feel right now. I have lost him physically but the memories we had together will never be lost. Although I dont have him anymore, I am happy I had him at all. He was my first love and I will continue to cry until I cant cry anymore. Ill smile on the outside but cry on the inside, I½m torn apart and only time can heal.

Love can make anyone vulnerable and I guess I was just another one of loves victims. They say love hurts but I dont understand why it has to hurt? Love is such a powerful emotion. It will take time for me to be able to love again and wear my heart on my sleeve. Im just going to take it one day at a time until one day I can feel the warmth of the sunshine and to me it wont just signify light, it will be the beginning of a new, wonderful and blessed day and the potential to be one step closer to meeting another love.