Comments : Looking out the window

  • 16 years ago

    by waiting 4 some1

    How horrible is this. i hope you are alright now

    and it was great poem

  • 16 years ago

    by Karin Erlacher

    I felt like your rhymes were a little forced. Still some spelling issues..

    I like reading your poems. They have a story and it isn't just some random ending..

    Good Job again. :)

  • 16 years ago

    by Goran Rahim

    Wow, this was a great one, the way ur showing us a story in a very poetic format.
    you are talented... keep up the great job
    a 5/5 from me as you really deserve it.

  • 16 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    I can relate to this piece. You put a lot of emotions in it. I like the choice of words in the poem, and the atmosphere that you created is good, too.
    The ninth stanza is my favorite.
    Keep up!

  • 16 years ago

    by The Angel of Secrets

    I liked this poem. The rhymes seemed a little bit forced, but thats allright.
    I voted 5.

  • 16 years ago

    by Gasttlee

    "I though you were a true friend,
    But it was all pretend.
    You just used me, so you could get what you wanted.
    Your plan though, was very well crafted."

    These lines appealed to me the most because I've gone through this before. 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Catastrophic Beauty

    Good poem.
    I like your wording and how this is a story in poetic form. I think that the rhyming was forced in parts.
    But overall I still give you 5/5

    Take Care!

    -Shannon <3

  • 16 years ago

    by Marc Ortiz

    It was a great poem, I think the flow was okay, good job. I have some suggestions though..

    (I look) out the window watching the rainfall down,
    = Looking (adding 'ing' enhances the flow.)

    And try to eliminate some of the I's =) coz it messes up the flow

  • 16 years ago

    by Sweet Fragility

    Nice poem. The story itself is a horrible thing to happen to anyone. But I like reading it in a poetic form. The flow was okay, rhyming a little bit forced. But still 5/5.
    ~ Lainey

  • 16 years ago

    by TwiztidJuggalette

    Wow...Really nice poem...The story is really sad but I liked it...The flow seemed a little off in this...IT was a enjoyable read...

    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Katlynn

    So i don't make any sence in some of my poems and this one just like lost me all for some reason i mean it was good the parts i could catch into my mind of picturing.

    "what ever I did, I am sorry.
    And one day I will come and say I am sorry."

    ^this part where it says whatever i did, i am sorry well it also says that one day you will come and say your sorry, but you don't know what you did which i was lost on that also. but overall you did good job writing this. keep it up. keep on writing. love always and froever.

  • 16 years ago

    by Jakki HxC Self Mutilation

    Wow. Very sad but I love this one too! It's very good and I felt as if I were there...
    Many emotions.
    -Jackie

  • 16 years ago

    by Wallace

    Very good. So much strong emotions in there. Very good poem, keep it up.

  • 16 years ago

    by Crystal Gaze

    It was an emotional read.
    but I felt your rymthes where more forced, and natural.
    Still a good write, and an excellent read.

    Keep it up,
    Elaine.

  • 16 years ago

    by tears i cry

    I didnt like it very much the first stanza through it al of for me 3/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Rachel RTVW

    Too many I's again, filler words and forced rhyming. It also lacks structure and flow.....Where are these 4's at again?