Trying Not To Cry

Sitting in my class trying no to cry,
Trying not to think of him,
Knowing that I can't have him here with me, &
Knowing that hes so close but yet so far away,
Trying not to Love him anymore,
I'm trying to get him out of my heart and my head,
Then he comes back into my life,
So I'm sitting in my class,
Trying not to think of him &
Trying not to cry, &
Seeing you sitting right next to me all day long, &
Wanting to tell you how i feel,
But not being able to,
It just wont come out, i just cant get it to come out,
It hurts so bad,So bad that I have to do a very bad thing
A bad thing as to cut myself,
every time I think of you,
So I'm sitting in my house,
Thinking of you,
When i hit to deep,
I began to bleed SO bad,
I don't know what to do,
Everything begins to fade, &
Everything begins to get blurry,
Then its over my life is done,
I fall to the floor,
You cry when they told you i was gone,
As if you loved me or something,
But it turns out you really did love me, &
Now I'm gone not there to see you, Hold you, kiss you, or even say i loved you as well.