Comments : This Game

  • 15 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    It is nicely written, but I don't like the ending, it seem like the rhyming in the last line is a little bit forced. I don't want to offend you, I'm just saying my opinion. Anyway, the poem is interesting with good choice of words. My favorite lines are:
    -I steady go round and round
    just to end up finding out...

    That everyone is cheating,
    And being fair is sinking-

    Keep writing!

  • 15 years ago

    by Wake

    Ok..this was a really fine piece.. but the ending a a little ..bobbed down.. ^.^''

    oh, and thank you so much for such pleasant commenting on my poem.. made my day :')

    its surely is amazing what you've done here..
    but im sure you can do much better =]
    i liked reading this great piece...but the last two lines just.. *atleast to me* dont feel sound... im jst trying to help.. =x

    BUt nonetheless..overall.. i liked it alot..

    Really looking forward to more of your work :)


  • 15 years ago

    by Kaz

    Beautiful topic and very well expresed.. every feeling every line is touching.. maybe the ending need swork.. juys the ending othrwise.. this poem is superb.. gr8 wrk.. keep on writing

  • 15 years ago

    by DeadGirl AKA Becka

    That was really good, I liked it alot, but...I have to agree with some of the other commenters...the ending kinda throws me off a bit...but i will still give ya a 5/5 ^^ thanks for commenting my poems!

  • 13 years ago

    by Tara

    Hey, great poem, but maybe to contuine the flow of the poem keep to a non ryhmeing theme. then i think it would be a wonderful poem! but overall the compareison to love and how it is like a game is really powerful and captivated. great otherwise! --tara