I try to make things right, but i mess it up all the time.
and make you mad,upset and angry at me.
i can not seem to make things right,
i only go and mess them up...make things worse like,
the things i say never come out the right way..
i always hurt you && make you wonder if you want this anymore.
i have no idea how to stop it to be honest,i don't know what to do thats my own fault to be honest, I'm the one to blame for everything,all tears,anger && torment,
i bet you think why is this so hard to do?!?
it's not meant to be like this
or why the hell is she like this?!?
well i don't know thats my honest answer,
if i knew i would tell you why i,
make things hard,
mess them up,
say the wrong thing alot and
make you wonder if its worth all the hassle...
you might think that i want to make things hard...
hurt you like i do..
upset you..make u angry.
wish i was different..
or even why I'm so difficult to understand &&
the way i do things that are stupid..
BUT .............
I don't like doing them...you really have no idea,
you might think you can understand me but you really
have no idea what is going through my head at times...
its messed up...I'm messed up to be pretty honest...
I'm a friged up head case...to put it nicely.
you may not believe me but....
you have no idea how much i work at this relationship,
i put all my heart && soul into it...
i put all my blood,sweat && tears in to it to.
you have no idea how much i rack my brain constantly
thinking of ways to make this more better than it is.
i know it may not seem like i do..but you have to believe me i do.
but all i seem to do is ruin it... i make it so unbelievable hard && frustrating...i know i do.
i bet you've wanted to give up on it...or you've fort about it..i know you have..
Ive cried myself ..into mindless wonder a thousand
times worrying about us... thinking will i still have a relationship...a week .. a month..a year from now..
you ask me why..i think that..right?!
well I'll tell you..because of all the stupid things i say & do that will end up breaking us up at some point if i
don't stop screwing it up...don't you dare say it wont..
i know it will...&& it'll all be my fault...
like it always is..i drive people away..all the time.
i only have my self to blame to be honest..
if i weren't a selfish self centerd person...who wants everything to go her way then things would be different to be honest...
you'd have a gr8 girlfriend...I'm sorry you don't you can && deserve better then me && you know it...
weather u admit it is up to you... but i know its true
i wish it wasn't believe me...i do!!
you have no idea how much i wish i was different...
to actually be a gr8 girl friend...but I'm not!!
you don't need this to be honest...
you don't need to get hurt by me...its not right James!!
people like you don't need people like me in there lives
we make things difficult && hard!!
I can honestly say i love you with every inch of my heart
you are my main purpose in life...without you I'm nothing
you make me so happy..i mean it
i wish i did the same tbh..I'm sorry!!
I have never felt like this about anyone ever
you don't have to believe anything i say to you!
it's fine i understand you can believe Wat you want.
BUT...................
believe this James Anthony Dooley ...
you are the most amazing && passionate person
Ive ever met in my life...
I'm so glad Ive met someone like you...
&& even more great full that you fell in love with me,
to have some one like you in my life is amazing,
i don't deserve you at all you are so breath taking,
you make me so happy
you are one of them people that my Nan told me about,
you're one of the greatest people I'll ever meet in my life, you're one of them people that are so hard to find,
&& so rare that you don't ever wanna lose them!!
you're one of them people that have a heart!
you have made the past 4months..2weeks && 2days
the most amazing time of my life..really i mean that!
i hope the rest of my life is just as amazing as that..
