A dream

by Ava Milan   Oct 4, 2007


I had a dream of you last night, the first ive had in years
i wondered why my heart was sore as i woke up in tears..
Your kiss, your touch, your loving words, they never felt so good
if only love was everlasting i'd do everything i could
id hold you tight and not let go, id love you in every way
id make you happy and make you laugh and smile everyday.
but i cant do any of those things, i cant even see ur face
and even though i'd have loved you more she has taken my place!
i wish you every happiness this world has got to give, and i'll soon stop thinkin of you cuz i too have to live!!

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  • 16 years ago

    by *Charisma*

    This piece was nice. it was sweet and the rhyme was very good. The flow was pretty good too.
    i wish you every happiness this world has got to give
    and i'll soon stop thinkin of you cuz i too have to live!!

    I think you meant to break your last two lines up like you had the rest of the poem with your rhyming words at the end...so that's my only suggestion. Just fix those last two lines.
    :) Charisma*

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