So tragic... I like it!
5/5 always
yourfavorite friend
Kate~

Well done davey nice ending. later lemon squeezy

Okay.
I frigging loved this.
The whole piece has so much power and intensity throughout.
Wording and rhyme scheme are wonderfully done, and the ending blew me away...it has such power that it hits the reader like a slap in the face..I love this.
There is nothing I would change.
Perfect.

it was great! 5/5 always
your favorite friend
Kate~

this is a tragedy! I'm thinking or romeo and juliet!