I actually thought it was pretty good. I think you could revise it and make it a really sad and beautiful poem. It was short and I like that in poems sometimes, especially when you get stuck reading a long one. This one painted a clear picture, but It could be better, I would really say go back and revise it

Its simply done dotn worry i love the way how u did this poem.. i think the rhyme was enough to show ur talent.. just keep on writing 5/5