Comments : Goodbye

  • 16 years ago

    by luv Shelbz luv

    I can't believe
    this awesome
    poem has no
    comments tis
    why i comment
    it and say great job
    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Kayla

    Another beautiful poem, Chelsey! I can relate to this poem in so many ways.. I have my own poem actually to my mom too. It is one of my first poems I ever wrote. Chasing after dreams too big for where you are right now.. I can definitely relate to that too. I can also relate to how your mom doesn't believe you can achieve those dreams, and that failure isn't something that's new to you. I loved the way you used your words in this poem too.. you really know how to create a wonderful masterpiece =) There wasn't any weak stanza's in this poem, I thought every single line was strong and powerful and they really blew me away. My favorite stanza from this poem was the last one,

    "So this is it
    My final goodbye
    I'm already on the plane
    So just look up in the sky."

    It just really gave you a taste of reality whenever you read it. I love the thought of your mom looking up at the letter and at the sky, knowing that you're up there somewhere in a plane, gone.. never to come back home. 5/5 <3 <3 <3 <3

    ~Rikku~

  • 16 years ago

    by Veamm

    Good!

    On this one, I can see metaphors and more striking lines that really great! But I think you need to use more edgy words to make it deep. But I like your style, Simple words and Rhyming is great!

    Keep on working!

  • 16 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    "If I happen to fail
    then thats okay
    I'm used to failure
    I've lived with it everyday"

    ^^I read that and was like wow..how many people can relate to that..I'm sure it's alot.

    I loved how you filled this piece with both sadness and hope, it made for a very powerful effect.

    The ending you chose was wonderfully done, I found it to be filled with such emotion and depth, and it was beautiful and moving.

  • I love this poem. It shows how someone can truly feel like a failure. The feeling in this is very strong. You a great job! 5/5

    .:CiNdY:.