They say getting back up is easier the third time.

It isn't.

^^ It isn't. I know. It's so much easier to just stay down. That was such a strong beginning. It really stuck with me, and stood out in my mind. I also really like the space you put between them, it emphasizes the flow something. It really makes you pause I guess.

"Shhh, it's a secret," I once whispered into your hair which smelt strongly of chemicals.
But, (like everything else) that was probably a lie.
I'd never tell you a secret.

^^ The first part, it was like I could actually hear someone whispering that. It makes it like you're actually there to hear it. "I'd never tell you a secret" <--- Oh, that line just gets me. It fits into my own personal life so very well.

From the chemicals departing from your hair I could easily say (with much detest) how weak you really are.

^^ I have no idea why I like this line so very much. It's the last part of the line to. It's so blunt.

(Could you read mine . . .?)
Such a trembling thought.

^^ I absolutely love this. Asking yourself a question. When someone asks questions in poems/proses tt really makes the reader think.

And then, with the figure that you have no faulty meaning, I remember what my parents had always told me: "Getting back up is easier the third time."

^^ Very strong ending, and what makes it even stronger is that you had already said this. Repetition can be very effective when used right.

Wonderful job, Sheena!

Keep writing and take care!
Cayce

" It's nice to be symbolic, but who understands it anyways? You've grown."

Isnt that a cruel joke on all of us. Not from your words but the truth within them. i love the whole poem like any other person would say from the way you finished every period. Just this line caught me more than the rest. Different from what i read but it didnt matter at all

You're nothing but a picture, a beautiful memory that once meant something, but now has no faulty meaning.
And then, with the figure that you have no faulty meaning, I remember what my parents had always told me: "Getting back up is easier the third time." - the last stanza as absolutely brilliant i appauld you for that.

the style was unique more of a story than poem, with an individual kick which you added by yourself, it has this sarcasm (i don't even no if that would be the right word.) its thoughts like go through your head on a page.

great metaphors and personification in places.

i believe in that- getting up the third time is easier.-i mean. its never gonna be completely easy but its a hell of a lot easier than the first.

you also have great lanuage skills, as well as a great flare for writing- and i hop eyou never stop writing for your a truely great poet.

a negative then, possible could have given it more structure, i found it kinda hard to read, but its not a big deal.

amy x

Amazing...You are so talented, and very in touch with yourself (Feelings)

XX3 Nia

This piece of prose really caught my attention. there were some things i just wanted to read over and over again tieing it back into my own life at the moment, it was beautiful. I'm sure it means something diffrent to you then it does to me, but really when it comes down to it, anything written on a piece of paper will be inturpreted diffrent by all who reads its. What a great piece of work dear.

This is very nicely written .. I often find it hard to see poetic qualities in a free verse , but you managed to create some pretty decent imagery . The title is good too . 5/5