Comments : Sweet Children (title contest)

  • 13 years ago

    by Anonymous Angel

    Hey,
    I absolutely love your poem. the flow is flawless. and the rhyming is perfect. there is a lot of emotion in it. you have a great way with words and they are very powerful. I don't have a favorite stanza because I love them all. you are going straight in to my favorite authors! 5/5
    kisses Stephanie

  • 13 years ago

    by xoxShorteexox

    It was amazing, darling. Just two grammar errors, I thought I'd tell you about Natz babe.

    "We live in a world, it seems a great place,
    but selfishness and hatred leaves it's trace.
    houses are bombed [and] people are killed,
    an innocent child, it's blood has been spilled.

    A little girl crying, her mom on the floor,
    [too] young to realize what she fought for.
    Another young child, his dad has been killed,
    not knowing he's next for the coffin he built. "

    The two things that need to be fixed are in the little [ ]. It was truly amazing besides those two little errors.
    I love you, Natzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
    babeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

  • 13 years ago

    by Solus

    One day all children will have to grow in a world full of war and suffering. I weep at the mere thought of it.

  • 13 years ago

    by Jackie

    An amazing poem, absolutely brilliantly written, 5/5

  • 13 years ago

    by Bryan

    Tis a very good poem tasha, i love the flow and the grammer tis perfect, i give it a 5/5!!! keep them coming babe!!!

  • 13 years ago

    by the simple girl

    While I find your words touching and very rhythmic, I have one main comment. I know that there is a lot of pain in this world, only the ignorant don't see it. But I also think there is still hope. It seems that generations will only get worse, but if we all put in an effort to try for a better life, I do believe it can be done. Our children will only fade away if we let them. I don't think you would allow that, and neither would I. Keep up the good work, you have the heart =)

    ~Ashley

  • 13 years ago

    by robin milford

    Most excellent poem u took a simple title and turned it in to a work of art excellent job. Writing about these such things are difficult you did an excellent job.