So young

by xXdaddys lil princessXx   Nov 5, 2007


So young but so lonely,
What do i do with a broken heart?
My life falling,
Further and further into the sadness.
only if you knew and cared.
Freddy, you care about your friends,
you look after them.

If someone hit them, you would destroy.
If it was me who got hit,
what the hell would you do???
i know you would sit and laugh,
or even, join the fun!!!

I know you like her,
Naomi,
I mean,
Wha can i do to change your mind?
Ailce says your a great person,
but i cant see that.

Sitting in math wathcing him
give you the book of humilliation.
I nearly burst into ears,
but you thought he was being an arse!

My depesed sadness cannot sho you
how much my heart breaks without you.
the first time i ay this is on his paper
"I Love You!"
I wish you would talk to me,
to understand,
to feel what i feel.
But you will never want to.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Tim Mauntler

    I like the fact that it's mostly a story put into a poetic style of writing... But it also leaves the reader a little confused as to who all these ppl are... And like Adrian said, there are some grammar fixes that could be made, but it didn't effect my 4/5
    good work

  • 16 years ago

    by FridusBlueheaven

    This is great. I love it, keep writing the good stuff!!!

  • 16 years ago

    by adrian

    Hey it was good but there r a few misstakes and i think u should fix them but yer u should also try to make it about the readers so yer i think when u change it it will be a great one but from now its a 4/5 from me

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