Really nice poem. I loved it full of emotion. I gave it a 5!

Very good ..very emotional ...5/5

THis is a wonderful poem and the rhyming is great. It is a unique type and first time Im reading this kind of poem having such a rhyming pattern. Great work

Tc
Fsams

I only have one thing to say

cause does not rhyme with war

otherwise i'm so putting this in my favorites

great job
:~)Sam Mayo

A really thorough thought out piece,
I liked the stubbornness of this poem.

great piece

Wow... thats all i can say... wow. amazing style. you have a very defined voice and i think this poem is amazing!

I'll start with the negatives as there are not too many of them ..

-Negatives-
Title, first line and last line - "to" should be too
Couple of rather questionable rhymes, although you are able to just about get away with it.
See, told you there wasn't many.

+Positives+
Flow is excellent from the very first line to the last syllable.
The story has been told innumerable times, and gets boring - "Girls loved boy, boy loved girl but left. Boy wants girl back, girl refuses"
You are able to rise above the normal run-of-the-mill poems of this type with this piece. You liven the storyline up with beautiful use of vocab, bold daring rhymes and glaring visual images.

~Summary~
Basic storyline with wonderful employment of techniques and skills makes this a thoroughly enjoyable read.

~Pete.

"And yet you keep trying, trying always to win me back
But everything I want {Respect, trust} is what you lack
Don't need your lies, or all of the trouble you stirred
Might as well shut your mouth now, it's to late for words"

An effective, engaging and gripping final stanza. The manner in which you merged your emotions and expectations into the ultimate four lines was really well done. The structure was solid and the rhyming couplets worked successfully throughout. However, one quick point for 'improvement': In the title, the 'too' should have another 'o'. Other than that, this was a splendid read.

Thanks for sharing! :) x