The repetition of the first stanza in the end is very effective. Whole poem is greatly written and emotions are expressed in a good way. I like this piece a lot, you created good flow and your descriptions are very vivid.

Flow is a great description, very smoothly written, and the emotion i felt while reading it was very geniune and sincere, i'm a little twisted but sad poems bring a little joy to my heart, because it makes me feel less alone, wonderfully done....
john

Wow. its adorable/ (Im not sure if thats the right word...) I like how it hints at a cycle by repeting the first stanza at the end.
{5/5}
[PygmyPuff]

Wow.. your poems are so unique.. i can't really say anything bcoz i'm speechless of your work.. that's how great it is! great job =]

"Meaningless day meets restless night
Tangled up in endless plight
Grounded though I may be
The greater crime is I still see"

Again, perfect choice of diction, Peabody. You develop your ideas very well throughout the poem, and apply them coherently with appropriate and effective imagery. To improve, however (there are only two pointers): firstly, the rhyme in some aspects does seem slightly forced, and does have a minor effect on the overall reading quality of the piece. My advice to something like this is do not be afraid to refrain from the rhyme. Sometimes, in a full rhyming piece, a non-rhyme stanza tends to stand out - but for the right reasons. It possesses an abrupt and unexpected feel...and considering this is a misc. poem, I think that is acceptable. Secondly, I think this piece could do with punctuation marks in the appropriate areas. Once you read the poem with pauses and sometimes unexpected breaks, it adds as a positive quality to the poem.

Other than that, this was a good read. Very well done :).

I love when poems repeat the first stanza! ..anyways, another great read!! very different then most, but thats why it makes it unique! :)

Keep it up =n= Take care!!

"Wanting to soar so freely
As I watch you do
Wishing to drift peaceful skies
Side by side with you"

favorite stanza ^^

Some of the rhyming was a litte forced i thought, and the repition of the first stanza was pretty good, all in all it was a different unique poem, 5/5

I do so wish you'd release my heartstrings already. Really, how insensitive it is to write such a beautifully insightful piece of poetry when some of us, only a moment ago, where not trying to fight back tears.

A fantastic show of sacrifice in the most simple and elegant way.