I have letters to my dad exactly like this, tons of them.
i know you most likely hate it when people try to relate to what your going threw/have been threw, but sometimes it helps.
i know what its like to be so selfdistructive and how much it hurts that he doesnt notice. it kills you, you start to hate him, then yourself, if your own dad doesnt care why would anyone else? right? it sucks.
i have all this anger built up against my own father for not seeing everything i was doing, the drugs, drinking, not giving a f**k, hating life, cutting, swalling as many asprin as i could (you would think 12 a day every day for a month would kill a girl), everything. i moved away from him for many reasons, this was a big one. i still come back and visit, infact im sitting on his coutch right now, and we still have the same damaged realationship.
i wish i could tell you that if you just hold on he'll open his eyes and see, but im afraid that hes like my dad, and he'll never get it. i mean my dad saw me drink myself to the point where i should have gone to the hospital more then once and he still doesnt get it.
all i can offer you is knowing that your not the only one, and its not your fault, its his, for being blind to whats right in frount of him.
best of luck with your life, hopefully you'll do better then me.

It's so hard, deadbeat fathers and I mean, some girls are lucky have a good dad and some r have a horrible father. But don't put yourself down for him, don't let yourself died in him. Sometimes, dad are just so blind, so deaf, not so open. You can be stronger, just be his little girl doing right thing. I totally feel you cause my father was NEVER around me, never LOVE me or either neva try to be a DAD and I am still happy because I don't let him put me down. I went through so many things.. This is heart-felt sadness.