Born to Adore; three stages

by BrokenREALiTy   Nov 27, 2007


Breathe out his name in perspiration,
Inscribed across the window glass.
His voice, a sultry whisper;
A gentle stroke across the throat,
Raspy breaths come out as gasps.
(l u s t)

Through his curls, fingers explore,
As his lips beg to go further.
Tease until desire fails to subdue,
with everlasting moans.
Trail his body with an eager tongue,
Rolling his soul within your will.
(o b s e s s i o n)

Intermingling worlds, linking pinkies,
With forbidden promises fulfilled.
Scream out with all emotion on your sleeve,
Whilst diving into a lost oblivion.
(l o v e)
©11(25/26)07 Mindy Huang

[[NOTE: I've been in a weird mood lately.]]

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    "Breathe out his name in perspiration,
    Inscribed across the window glass. "

    ^^ That right there is amazing, I love this, the images I get just from the opening lines are beautiful, and right away I know that I'm going to like this piece.

    "His voice, a sultry whisper;
    A gentle stroke across the throat,
    Raspy breaths come out as gasps."

    ^^You manage to follow the opening lines beautifully with these ones, each line is stronger and better than the last, all the time managing to portray such beautiful imagery within each and every line.

    "(l u s t)"

    I love this...I'm not really sure why...I just think it makes for such a beautiful effect on the opening stanza, and the way you space out the word gives it so much of a stronger effect.

    "Through his curls, fingers explore,
    As his lips beg to go further.
    Tease until desire fails to subdue,
    with everlasting moans.
    Trail his body with an eager tongue,
    Rolling his soul within your will.
    (o b s e s s i o n)"

    ^^ This is my favourite stanza of this piece, I thought this verse was beautifully written, so detailed and you manage to go into a lot of depth here while keeping it classy and elegant throughout the stanza.

    Again, I love the obsession part at the end.

    "Intermingling worlds, linking pinkies,
    With forbidden promises fulfilled.
    Scream out with all emotion on your sleeve,
    Whilst diving into a lost oblivion.
    (l o v e)"

    ^^ This is a wonderful closing stanza to the piece, so beautifully detailed yet again while being elegant and filled with such poise and beauty.

    The love line at the end is the perfect way to finish this piece.

    I just frikken LOVE this piece.

    I found this to be beautifully written, original in concept and written with so much beauty and elegance.

  • 16 years ago

    by FlawlesslyTarnished

    This was really, a beautiful poem!
    i really love it. it's so. .deep. and full of
    passion. you captured the emotion very well.
    i like the structure of this poem and
    the flow was good. the words choice was all
    the more perfect. simply amazing. 5/5.

  • 16 years ago

    by Christina

    I thot it was ok...4/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Brittany

    WOW. That's all I can say.
    I got an adreneline rush from that poem, just as one would expect to get in each separate yet so confusingly similar situation.
    I love the words in the brackets, and the spacing. It just felt like such a strong way to end each stanza. It's like the punctuation of the poem, if that makes sense. You're just racing along with the poem, and those words hit you. They just have a major impact.
    5/5.