Comments : Smile Like You Mean It

  • 15 years ago

    by AngelicDecadence

    Photographs lay across the wall
    And everyones eyes appear to follow
    You around when you walk on out
    ^I think here instead of "when" you should put "as" it flows easier in my opinion.
    Your eyes are whited out

    All the words you say they make no sense
    And after all this I'd like to present
    You with all the things that you've said and done
    Accept that you were wrong

    So go on stage
    Take a bow
    I know you want to
    Just be proud
    Of all these things
    That you have caused
    And all the photos I have lost

    (Chorus)
    Why don't you smile like you mean it
    Smile like you mean it
    I wanted to believe that
    You could smile like you mean it
    Remember all the good times
    Don't you walk out that door
    Just look into my eyes
    Yours aren't red anymore
    Can I read you some more?

    Suitcase is packed with broken things
    And the lights dim as footsteps leave
    These walls where its said and done
    ^"Its" should be "It's"
    Admit that I was wrong

    Eyelids heavy staying with the night
    I stay lit up with the front light
    Waiting in check to see if you left
    Without taking your photographs

    (Chorus)
    Why don't you smile like you mean it
    Smile like you mean it
    I wanted to believe that
    You could smile like you mean it
    Remember all the good times
    Don't you walk out that door
    Just look into my eyes
    Yours aren't red anymore
    Can I read you some more?

    So break me down
    Take a bow
    It's so easy
    To be proud
    Of all your lies
    Your miseries
    Piled on top
    On top of me
    You never smiled
    Unless you weeped
    A little inside
    Bottled tears you keep
    Of all these things
    That we have caused
    It looks like we're both wrong
    Broken glass is on
    The floor
    ^Hmm.. the last two lines don't actually seem necessary. Unless there's a reason they're there, I would delete them.

    I couldn't comment much on this simply cause I couldn't find much wrong. It was very well written, and you did a wonderful job. :]

  • 15 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    With the right beat I am sure it could be a hit I read a bit of emotion here