Wow. this is a really good piece.
it made me wonder what was really going on and then at the end make everything clear. i really like the flow of it too. great job.
5/5
<3 kelley

Once again a very good piece
it really makes you feel like the reader is the character you're writing about
and it just brings you right into the situation

u misspelled flame in the last paragraph

5/5

Do you feel it?

^^ Wow, asking the reading a question. Impressive. It really brings them into the prose. Makes them feel like they're there. And yes, I did feel it. o.o

You ARE putting the reader into the story. I love that. Using the forms of "You" instead of "I".

tick, tick, tick . . .

^^ Very powerful lines.

Sweat is dripping down your face; your nose twitches, yet your head lays calmly on your papers as you sleep, keeping the wind from stealing your papers which could travel out to the world where they would be lost and ruined.

^^ I think you should take out one of the "papers" it would sound better. [Well, at least to me. I don't know, it might sound perfect to you]

You do realiez, however, that you probably shouldn't have had those last few drinks that you thought would clear your head

^^ "realiez" should be "realize". Ahh sorrry. I feel like all I'm doing on this one is fixing little mistakes.

It was merely the taste of faith warming your heart and setting your veins on fire, like a fever to the bone.

^^ You always take my breath away with your endings! I wish I was better at endings. This was just so fantstic there's not really any way I can desribe it!

Amazing.

Keep writing and take care!
Cayce

"It's nice to be symbolic, but who understands it anyways? You've grown."

Isnt that a cruel joke on all of us. Not from your words but from the truth within them. This line caught my eye out of the rest. I love the piece and im sure many people would say the same thing by the way you finished each sentence with the perfect period.

Ahh god forgive my last comment, it was a mistake

The last line of this poem made me freeze

"It was merely the taste of faith warming your heart and setting your veins on fire, like a fever to the bone."

now again i dont usualy read these kinds of poems but you write so swift, im sure you heard what im about to say many times before but its truly amazing and i'm going to add you on my favorites. i cant find anything wrong.. crap.. lol i was looking to find a flaw.. just one.. but no.. maybe i just fell into your words great piece

AGAIN sorry for the other comment i got this head ache and i aint thinkin right

5/5
a way with words thats fantastic. easy to see how you get wins. im completely impressed.
don't stop now, you're killing everyone.
xx

There was a lot of description almost too much that it sufficated the message but it worked well together. I enjoyed the vivid images and loved the ending but I think in some ways the desciption was too over baring well just a thought Plot121

I forgot why i loved reading your work so much way back when. This piece once again was amazing, It was as if the fire was right infront of my own face; it was magical i tell yea. Your work seems to bring a calm within a storm.

A well written piece of poetry prose if there is such a thing. Very cleverly constructed to drag the reader into the illusion of a daydream, candles do cause fires though if you are not careful.5/5

Amazing work!!! It really just takes you in and you can completely feel it and relate!!! This was amazing work!! The flow seemed to work really well and was overall a fantastic piece!! Great work 5/5!!!

The ecstasy is in you not in the suicide. You just project it on whatever you want : your poetry, suicide anything.
nice read by the way