Very, very powerful and effective. I can relate to the emotions that you expressed here. I like your intense tone and whole great monologue.
The repetition of the first stanza in the end left great impression on me- it was fantastic way to encircle whole poem.
You did good job with rhymes- they are not typical and the rhyming don't seem forced which is excellent.
The fourth stanza is my favorite.
All in all, greatly done!
14 years ago
by Jason Meres
A little sad, a little dark, and unquestionably about life, yet it wouldn't have been quite so powerful in any catagory but this. A tremendously heartbreaking verse, especially to whomever it was meant for, I imagine.