Wow...
Mel, this is absolutely brilliant. You are amazing poet. You have impressive way with words!
Whole piece is excellent, with endlessly original imagery. I admire all those fantastic pictures that you portrayed within these two stanzas. Short yet breathtakingly effective poem.
The emotions are expressed superbly- all described sadness and pain nested inside my heart. So touching, filled with tones of deep sorrow.
Amazingly done!
5/5 from me

You have a way of telling something so deep, meaningful and original in such short poems. It's truely amazing. The detailed description used in this really got inside my head and it screams out to me. The end hit me hard and I can understand this, even if it is only in the way I percieve it, I'm still in awe. You have a very strong way with your words, which is an amazing talent to hold. You will always be one of my favourite poets on here. :]
5/5 yet again.

x

Wow!
Amazing work, so unqiue and creative! Well done, Mel I admire your writing, it is so impressing and your ideas for poems are outstanding. This one puts me in awe and it posses it's own brilliant atmosphere, imagery that you created in whole piece is also beautiful. I really enjoy in your poetry and every line of this is breath-taking... Every word it is perfectly chosen and I can't describe how much I like this. It is simply beautiful like the rest of your poems...

You have real potential sometimes almost all the time i feel the same

This is yet another amazing piece! i'm speechless! i absolutely love it. it's. .dark. it's sad, and the vocabulary was simply outstanding and very well used. your word choice was very advanced, far moer advanced than my own. [considering. .my vocab isn't too big. lol] the imagery was. .spectacular! and the emotions were very nicely captured. another outstandingly amazingly wonderful poem! lol. 5/5.

Wow. Unfortunately, my simple brain hasn't quite managed to work out this poem yet. Frustratingly, I'm not sure it ever will properly but my mind lingers on vague ideas and emotions within your words. A really impressive write, with astounding imagery and so much is portrayed in just two stanzas. Another awesome piece.

Sole. x

This one is really good. Im still trying to understand it completely :s lol. but thats my small brain lol. Although i can sense the emotion in it and its adds to the imagery.
xx
Taegan Emily