Sometimes I don't know. I just don't. Should I keep going? Or give up on everything I believe in? I'm confused. F**ked up. I'm going insane, hiding all of my emotions from the world. Secrets. It's all about secrets. Maybe I should give them up. Finally admit that I was wrong to trust. I know I made a mistake. Hell, I've made so many. I can't take back what I did, and I know you never will forgive me, but it happened. What else can I say? I try to explain and just keep digging myself deeper into a hole. Maybe it would be different had you not said the things you did. Had you not made me feel what I wanted to feel. I'm not completely blaming you. Don't get me wrong. I love you. I always will. Don't forget that. You said yourself that it hurts me more. I'm shattering into the tiniest shards that I more than likely will never find. I don't know. I don't know if I can go through this. I want you. Your company. Your warmth. Yet I know it won't happen. I can't keep you for myself. You've left me. Probably forever. Forever is such a long time. Please don't. I can't do it. I've decided that I can't. I cry everytime I think of you. You and another girl. I cringe, knowing that I can't be the only person you love. I want it to be different. So badly. I want to give another chance. But I don't think you'll let it. I think you're over me. No matter those things you said. I think you're done. I know I'm not. I wish I could be over you. For my sake, and yours. I don't want to keep going as I am. I'm falling apart. I'm unstable. I can't even predict my actions anymore. It all just happens. I'm Sorry. I didn't want any of this. I just wish I knew how to make you fall in love with me again. Start over. Be as we were when we first met, with the butterflies. I'll never forget our times together. I never want to. I love you. With all my heart. I can't express it to it's fullest. Just know, that I will be here for you. I'll always be waiting.
