There is no time like the present for post poning the things you should have already done

For every new banana use a new condom

this ones for you gurly

He's like a riddle, wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in a vest... He sure is ugly though...

:: Hands lady a drink::

Lady asks what's in it?

Other lady replies:

Rum, brandy, and enough vodka to make you drop your panties for a candy cane.

Ya'll can take tha gurl out tha honkey tonk, but ya'll cant take tha honkey tonk out tha gurl

Once the sun goes down, all the weirdo's go crazy

NO, YOU MAY NOT POKE MY EYES OUT AND MAKE LOVE TO MY SKULL

Why do we hate some one we love?Why do we love some one we hate?

2 men walked into a bar
ya think one of em woulda ducked

Thansk for parking so close, next time leave a can opener so i can get my car out...
cunts like u should ride the bus