If you see a man approaching you with the obvious intent of doing you good,
you should run for your life.

It works better if you plug it in.

100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?

Ass, gas, or grass,
no one rides for free

Bad cop! - No donut!

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

Be nice to your kids,
they'll choose your nursing home.

Note to self:
Do not play leap frog with a unicorn!

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Who was the first person to say " see that chicken oever there? I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out of its a s s."