Don't drink to drown your sorrows, for sorrows are like fish and can swim

Don't drink when you're angry and you won't be angry when you drink

I don't drink to be happy, I drink because I'm not

Just how many wrongs DO make a right?

Depression is like rain and I'm like Noah

Nobody chooses depression, depression is given to you, much the same way a 3 tonne rhino doing the Can-can on your head will give you a headache

Don't be depressed, not when you can be angry

True friends never leave you, no matter how hard you hint

When looking for a sandwhich at two in the morning, do not look under the sofa, for what is there is not edible, well, it's not tasty

I sold my soul for a doughnut once... no wait... that wasn't me... that was a Simpson's episode. My mistake