I am me...I just wish I knew what "me" meant

Just like the night before
Tonight I will go home,
Crawl into bed,
And cry the darkest tears.

I wonder if I can get that
Stitched on a pillow somewhere?
So i can cry,
All my tears.

It's sad that the people with terminal illnesses
Wish they didn't have them,
But I would be willing to do anything
To have one.

I used to go to bed and wish
For a better day tomorrow,
For things to be happy and fun.
Now when I go to bed I wish
That my heart will stop beating,
And I will breathe my last breath.

When you blow out a candle,
It takes a few seconds,
Before it finally dies.

I was just blown out,
And I'm in my last few seconds,
Before I finally die.

** didn't really know how to compare the two, but I like the comparison **

The joy in my life ended a long time ago,
Just before the misery began.

Clearly you can see
By the scars on my arm,
That I stopped a while ago.
But you can also see,
That I've started again,
And this time I'm not as shy.

I just felt a twitch, a jump
Inside my heart.
You should know I just cut my arm,
From elbow to wrist.

One day people will realize
That I don't want to be saved anymore.

20 pounds to go.
I will do it,
Or die trying.