PS: That is how part of the alphabet would look if Q and R got married, moved away, developed marital problems, became drug addicts, and then killed themselves...

"That was so terrible, I think it gave me cancer."

- Calculon, Futurama

You can pick your friends,
You can pick your nose,
Try to pick your friend's nose with an M-80 and the police will question you...

"I love Doritos......sometimes...."

My ex, Carmen, on the phone one night

I am a swordsmaster, be-0tch - I will kick your a*s!

Remember, it's the people like me that make the rest of you normal...

"Bite my crust, wee-otch..."

From the Sci-Fi Channel version of Final Destination 2

Your mom is the only erectile dysfunction tablet clinically proven to work up to 36 hours.

Love is like duct tape - it has a light side, a dark side, and it can bond two completely different things (or people)

Being bi or gay is like being a flower - hide and suffer or stand out and be trampled...