Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. So let's get wasted and have the time of our lives!

If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most: saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing, and wishing you had?

The only reason they call it PMS is cause Mad Cow Disease was already taken

Love is a sensation that starts by the temptation, a guy sticks his location in a girls destination to populate the next generation. Do you get the explanation or do you need a demonstration?

I don't have an attitude problem, you have a pissing me off problem

Friends + All those moments = "You just had to be there..."

Teddies don't hug back...but sometimes they're all you've got

It becomes too late for those who wait