This is my boyfriend...he just hasn't asked me out yet.

The world needs more rubber sidewalks.

I wish my grass was emo—then it would cut itself!

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

“My, isn’t everyone looking PERKY today!”

*ha-ha Justine!*

“Don’t get lost!”

*I really love Irish Fest in Wisconsin…don’t you?*

“Hiss, hiss! Step on me and I’ll bite you, I swear!”

*I doubt you’ll understand this…it just needed to be said…*

“Where’s the cooler?”

*My friends and I have this…connection…with Bill Engvall…this is another one of his quotes*

“This ain’t right…I’m telling you, Scruffy, something is wrong...My toenails are gone!”

*Again, Bill Engvall must be listened to…*

“I’m a dorkfish!”

*You need to listen to Bill Engvall to understand this*