Spending this last month in the hospital showed me how much i really hate my life, i really dont care anymore!!!!

I am the life of the party,i just dont give a fk, its the only time i feel normal, no one knows how im so messed up,,, i want everyone to go away, i want to be alone, i cant take anymore pain

I am back to my old ways, at the party last night i drank, i smoked and woke up with guys i dont even know!!! i felt like everyone cared,i was so popular, i am killing myself slowly and i cant stop,,, im so unhappy,, im so lost

Im going back to school tomorrow.. its everything i want.. but i no im not ready.. im not stable enough.. what do i do? i cant give up :(

I am struggling so much... i cant fight these feelings

Every second of everyday, i think about in 4 months how i can become homeless again not knowing where im gonna be, im scard and trying to change things

I feel like a ball bouncing place to place, well this time the ball is loosing air, Its about to pop, Im not going through what happened sence i left, im done

I am all ready way over my head, ugh i cant do this, i need time, i need to be me, i need to find my place, I knew to understand

I fell like i already ran away and got lost in these woods called life, i cant get out :(

You told me to be strong and hold on, I cant do this without you, Remembering your words, Your little girl is dieing she wants you to come get her, Im living for everyone not myself, please come :(