The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

-Mark Twain

Life isn't about pissin off people who make fun of you, makin wars, makin stupid desicions that you'll never learn from and hate.
Life is about understandin people who reject you, makin babies, makin mistakes that you'll learn from, and love.

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-b!+ch.

--Jack Nicholson

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

--Rodney Dangerfield

You know "that look" women get when they want sex?

Me neither.
--Steve Martin

Sex is like snow, you never know how many inches
you're going to get or how long it will last

-unknown

You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at
you because you're all the same.

-unknown

When they point at me and call me a Loser,
All I do is laugh in their faces and say proudly,
"I might be a Loser, But you still suck eggs at being a Winner." woop. woop.

Can you kiss a dream,

No matter how real it seems?

Break me into little pieces scattered all over the floor,

And maybe I won't love you anymore.