I was doing nothing, wasn't even thinking. And when I realised that, I found the silence deafening.

Spend a lifetime, trying to.....Trying to understand.

It's not a "need" to be antisOcial...

It's never a "want" to be one either...

Becoz I just am; antisOcial.

Trying to catch my heart
Is like trying to catch a star

So many people love me baby
Maybe that's just what you think I am

A star

& I just feel like puking. Guys can make me vomit blood. Seriously.

& why do I have to put myself in YOUR shoes when you sure as hell won't ever do the same for me?

I let myself be physically, mentally and emotionally abused without caring by whom or why.

I've been holding back so much, so when I finally got the guts take that free fall plunge into oblivion... it will be just me, on my own breaking my own neck with no one else to drag along with me.

But I just cannot explained to you, how meaningless my life is... so much so YOUR STUPIDS THREATS don't really bother me that much. In fact, I think I'd be happier and probably dead maybe, if you ACTUALLY carried out your threats.

It's such an OVERSTATEMENT, in a way... for you to say you know me so well, when you can't even start to understand why I do things the way I bloody do!