I wish I could smell colors- wait one second, I have no idea where I'm going with this. This is just silly.

People always say random words to be funny. And they usually say monkey or cheese. Leave the monkies and cheese alone! They're not funny! They're just trying to live their lives. Well, not the cheese, but still. What about parsnips? They get lonely!

I always make fun of my friends. My favorite thing to do is tease their "manhood". It's alright though.. I tell them, as long as they have sex in snowbanks... I think they'll be fine..

Ever see a parsnip? The first time I saw one, I thought it was some kind of retarded carrot.

I'm a great lover, I'll bet.

Well, the next day I caught her in bed with this other guy. I was crushed. I said, "Get off me, you two!"

My girldfriend said, "I'm seeing another man." I said, "Well, try rubbing your eyes or something."

The other day a woman came up to me and said, "Didn't I see you on television?"
I said, "I don't know. You can't see out the other way."

I was walking down the street with my friend and he said, "I hear music", as if there is any other way you can take it in. You're not special, that's how I receive it too. I tried to taste it but it did not work

I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that's extra scary to me. There's a large out of focus monster roaming the countryside. Look out, he's fuzzy, let's get out of here