I'm happy most of the time now but there are still days that I wonder why I'm still breathing. Still days when the metal calls to me to spill my own blood. No one else understands, it's a constant battle to just survive.

It hurts when I see you for I know things will never be the same.
Our friendship is dead with both of us to blame.

I miss the way we used to be,
But it seems like you don't care that our friendship died...

All the treasure and all the riches in the world mean nothing without you with me.
Wont you please come back to me?

I pray that I never see you with her but at the same time it's the thing I wish for most.

What would you say if I called you today?
What would you do if I said I love you?
Why can't you see how much you're hurting me
When you say you love her more.

Hatred in my soul
Slowly losing control
Now it openly flows
And with it sanity goes.

I promised myself I wouldn't cry for you again
As tears run down my cheek
I promised myself you wouldn't make me sad
As they fall at my feet.

I'd rather be hurt by you then never to have met you

So please hurt me for my sake.

One of my old close friends told me that.

Life's to short to be depressed but my heart isn't strong enough to be happy.