I'm always afraid of being yelled at, being hurt, made fun of. I'm always afraid of feeling the pain that i feel every moment of the day...

"Take a lesson from the elephant: It lives to a ripe old age without ever worrying about its weight."

~Anon.
If only we all could live without being teased about our weight..

It was the same pain every day
The pain i wished would go away
The pain i know would never leave
So I go to that one place were I can stay
And wish for the pain to just go away

I'm sorry that I only got in your way.
I'm sorry I wasted your time.
I'm sorry I failed you.
I'm sorry that I couldn't help anymore.

Part of my first poem "I loved you sister"

You cant see that the laughs are full of lies.
You cant see that I really want to die.
You cant see that I have nothing left to give.
I'm just a ghost in your mirror.

Part of my poem "Cant see"

Mommy, you said I could ask you anything.
So now I'm asking this,
Is it ok if I end my life?
This pain is getting to be too much.

Part of my poem "Mommy, Im asking."

You may hear her whisper,
'This was my invisible death,
You know you want one to,
Bury yourself next to me,
So together we can be.'
- Part of my poem "Invisible death"

I love birthdays, not because of the gifts and cake,
But because it means your even closer to dieing,
If you havent already decided to end it...

Mommy, I'm asking you now,
Why it is no one can see,
That every time I try,
They only disappoint me.

-Part of my poem "Mommy, I'm asking."

If i were to take you under my wing, Would you end up cutting it off and make me crash?