The girlfriend pisses me off so much, I wanna grow old with her just to watch her die.

I wonder if people who decide to try crack saw a crackhead and thought, yeah that.

She asked me for time and distance. I guess she wants to calculate velocity.

Of course you are cute, you have hair covering 90% of your ugliness.

Fcuk me like I ruined your credit.

Dear life, When I said "can my day get any worse?" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. ~ Aristotle

The secret of life is to like who you are.....in spite of yourself.

Down on yourself for being lazy? Keep in mind the Greeks believed their Gods lived atop a very hikeable mountain and no one went to check.

I'm just a guy struggling to find the appropriate level of inappropriateness for every social interaction I'm unlucky enough to be a part of.