With my age and health - I hope they will hurry up and invent head transplant ** I would love to have a 18 year old body again

I have worked 90% of my life waiting for the day that I could Retire.
And now that it's here I am too old to enjoy it!

I am 100% Positive that I have always been 100% Negative about everything

It is so easy for me to quite smoking
I had done it many times

I could always tell when my X-Wife told a Lie, Because her mouth moved

I had a Friend tell me that if he remembers right, He thinks that he faintly remember reading that the effects of Marijuana can cause memory loss

A bird in the hand is better then finding two hungry wolves in the bush

I do not fight fire with fire when I get mad ** I fight fire with inferno

At 70 years old there is one thing that my children call me that hurts and that is old man. Each time it reminds me of just how little time I may have left

I just throught that I almost forgot to remind you to remember to not let me forget to remember to be home by 5:pm