Limericks

I like silly limericks, they can be quite a challenge but I find it hard to get started.
Would anyone like to write the first line and I will do the rest. I'll also post it directly to you if you type P.D. afterwards.

There once was a poet online

There once was a young man named Jim
I was awfully fond of him
We dated a week
Then I got cold feet
And ran off with his best friend Tim.

There once was a poet on-line
She was a good matey of mine
Though she lives far away
We still talk every day
While she's drinking her glass of wine

I just had a thought in the shower

I just had a thought in the shower
that the shower was losing its power
the water's yellow, I see
then realised it was wee
That explains why the water tastes sour!

-------------------------------------------------

Today I lost my sight,
it was such a terrible fright
as I started to weep
noticed I was asleep
when I woke everything was alright!

I couldn't resist posting...sorry!

Next one...
A beautiful young girl from Peru

I had a thought in the shower
It made my smile turn to a glower
I'd get on much better
If I were much wetter
And make my ablutions less slower

Oh my! Today I lost my sight
Someone just switched off the light
I had to admitt
I was frought for a bit
Then found the switch, now I'm allright!

A beautiful girl from Peru
Who desperately needed the loo
She hunted and searched
Untill at last she perched
And slumped with a huge sigh of "FEW!"

I wonder if she has a tattoo :)

I wondered if she had a tattoo
I thought I would try asking you
You thought she had four
Or could it be more
But it turns out she had less than two

I Had A Purple Flower

A message i hope to find

I once had a purple flower
And I sniffed it every hour
But I cannot lie
I do not know why
The darn thing just smelled so sour!

This one time I sat in the park

A message I'm hoping to find
Are words that are friendly and kind
So, give me a post
Or give me a roast
As long as it's nice, I don't mind

This one time I sat in the park
I sang with the Thrush and the Lark
I played at the fete
Untill it got late
And then wandered home in the dark

The phone just wouldn't stop ringing
But then my heart started singing
She said she'd be here
In less than a year
And gifts for us all she'd be bringing

I love to walk in the rain

would you like some food Mr. Duck

she started my day off right

there is a guy that works on planes

my nurse was short with black hair

She started my day off just right
Although she did give me a fright
The nurses outfit
She said was a hit
And would wear it all day and all night!

My nurse she was short with black hair
She realy did give me a scare
With suringe in hand
She made quite a stand
But gave me my Morphine with care

Would you like some food Mr Duck
Or maybe a change in your luck
I'll take you aside
We'll go for a ride
And then we'll go paddle in muck

I love to go walk in the rain
It's real good for hiding the pain
I would sing and dance
If given the chance
But people would think me insane.

There is a guy who works on planes
He's forever suffering pains
It's cold where he works
There's not many perks
And he always suffers chill blains

I have just lost both of my arms
But I still have all of my charms
I paint with my feet
While strapped to my seat
And my toes can type forty psalms

I may have to change that line some what 'cos, traditionaly, limericks lines 1,2,5 should be 8 syllables. What else would you like in it?

Someone just took my lucozade

Good luck with that one darlin'
(^^ ,)

Someone just took my Lucozade
When I was out buying a spade
I got home at one
To find it was gone
I'll just have to drink Lemonade!

Today is a day with no air
There's nothing to ruffle my hair
So now I can gel
And style it so well
And not have to worry or care

Thanks for the comment. I'm having fun doing them.

"I'm writing these simply for fun"

Nice open one for you to wiggle with.

I'm writing these simply for fun
To see what I think can be done
I start with a line
Then find it a rhyme
And finish it off with a pun.

On a lovely summers day

On a lovely summers day
My poetry script blew away
Away 'cross the lawn
And now it's all gone
I find I have nothing to say.

I seem to have lost my own mind
I wonder if you'd be so kind
To look over there
Or just anywhere
I think that I left it behind

There's this joke that nobody laughs
I should not have mentioned giraffs
All lanky and tall
They make me feel small
I guess I just made a big gaffe.

(That was a tough one)

I used to like eating cheesecake

I used to like eating cheesecake
'twas the only thing I could make
All rich and creamy
It tastes so dreamy
But now I've had all I can take

I bathed in a bath of jelly

I bathed in a bath of jelly
It wabbled about like my belly
It made me all sticky
All sweet and licky
And now I keep some in my welly

Figured I'd go for a giggle

Betcha you struggle with that one ;)