I wouldn't normally do this...

I wrote two new things, that I need to make sure are up to par before Friday...
I'm feeling mildly confident, but still would love some help. I need some harsh criticism. HARSH!
I would be more than happy to return the favour...
Ones just called 'beginning of story' because it will be without a title until it's done..and the other is Tainted Under Light (much shorter...those of you who like lyrics/rhyming and don't like alot of reading would appreciate this one much more.)
Thanks muchly!.