a few thoughts

this would be an issue for either Dainz or Janis Bob, none of the moderators can do anything to the poems section.. :( sorry..

Well...

Obviously, people that post explicit poems aren't very offended by swearing (we'll call these people, "A"), or they probably wouldn't have posted that poem. Now, there are still some people that find swearing super offensive (And these people are "B"). Those people can easily avoid explicit poems. However, swearing in the forums is different. If there is swearing in a topic that person B likes taking part of, it discourages them from enjoying what they well... enjoy.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this: The rules are there to prevent offending anyone. Obviously, if someone is offended by swearing, they aren't going to read explicit poems. But that doesn't necessarily mean that they can avoid swearing in the forums. Hope that made sense.

Just follow the rules...

~Ciao Lipton

they are not supposed to post them, Sunny...but there is nothing but the honor system to prevent them from doing so...

You only get the warning when you enter that section from the menu on the left... if you go to someone's profile and they have an explicit poem, you get no warning. And, as far as I know, there is no block in place to prevent under 18 from posting those poems.

I must admit... I am 16 and post tons of explicit poems. I am the explicit poem erotica queen!! lol. Kidding**, but I mean the point is that it is based on maturity level, and the other point is that there isn’t a law against people under 18 swearing or having sex, so why would it be illegal for them to view (or write) sexual things, or things in which they swear. We all know that tons of kids under 18 do both.... I understand the child pornography law, naked pictures and everything, but I think its different to write and view sexually oriented material than to BE a porn star. I just don’t get it.... Sex (and I would also say profanity) is not nearly as big a deal to my generation as it is to the other generations who are trying to stop it. People need to be less anal lol. Sorry, I'm just pretty free spirited, as are most of the other kids around my age that I know. Sex ed is no different.... the only difference is that sex ed leaves out the important things that people worry about, like anxiety, emotional aspects, the reality of what happens, etc. Sorry... I think I got carried away, but I have very "set" views on the subject.

Plus adults like to disregard the fact that teenagers have sexual urges just like they do, and this is probably one of the biggest topics of interest and focal points of my generation, so the ideals clash. However they feel the need to express their sexual energy, so if writing about it is a good way to take care of that, isnt it safer than sex??

Kaitlin Kristina

bob shank: We do try that, but the generations are getting worse as the years progress. I see 10 year old girls now wearing make up, miniskirts and whatnot. When I was 10, I didn't even know what a miniskirt was. We do have a responsibility, no matter how hypocritical it is. Things were more restricted when I was 10, 11, 12, 13...etc, and I think that's better.

On another note, and this is also regarding the featured poems list on each main page; I have several poems that have higher ratings (and higher number of votes) than those that appear on the featured lists. One of my poems was one the Nature list, but it was knocked off by a poem with a much lower rating. Why is that?

Regardless adults shouldn’t be hindering our growth or exploration of these things, considering that these issues are pretty much already at paramedic proportions.

Many of my friends would love it if they could explore their feelings and actions with adults, but they are either not receptive, unable to bring themselves to talk about it because they are uncomfortable with these things themselves, or unwilling to let the kids explore these realms safely.

The fact is that if a teen wants to have sex, they will. If they want to use drugs, they will find a way. If they want to swear, they just wont do it in front of you. There comes a certain age that kids begin to discover that they are people who are just as capable of having real feelings and real urges (sexual or otherwise), as adults are; however adults seem to like to keep us little innocent kids, of which we are not.

Although we appear demure and even diffident in the eyes of adults, we are nothing like this alone with our friends, and in this day and age it is impossible to keep an eye on them all the time. Computers, phones, busses, alcohol, drugs, porn, etc. It’s EVERYWHERE, and you can’t stop it from influencing your child.

So what’s the best way to deal with this? Well it sure as hell isn’t to ignore it or to take drastic action to stop it, ultimately forcing your kids into rebellion. The best way to deal with this "lose-lose" situation, in most adults’ eyes of course, is to explore these realms safely on an emotional, mental, educational, and even spiritual level. You have to talk about the physical ramifications, as well as all of those listed above.

OUR bodies are OURS. Just because you have jurisdiction over us does not mean that you own us. Our mind, our spirituality, and our bodies are ours to claim and teenagers are at the age of coming to understand this.

Parents' jobs are to guide us to that we become and develop into being happy, healthy, and successful adults who are self-sufficient in all areas of life. Adults often miss the fact that this is the whole point of "rearing" a child. They all become 18 sometime, and they will ultimately make the same choices at that point that they will at 15, 16, or 17 years old. You have to guide them while you still can, talk to them when they are more likely to listen, and not put them in a situation where they feel compelled to rebel to claim their independence.

TALK TO YOUR KIDS. THEY WANT TO TALK TO YOU.

This does not mean that you condone sex or drug use of any kind, nor anything else self destructive that kids can do, but it means that you are letting them know the ramifications of their actions. You need to teach your kids to respect their bodies, their hearts (emotions), their minds, and their souls (spirituality). Respecting your body means not doing stupid things, obviously its the only one we get, and make sure to tell your kids on a logical level that their drug use wont damage your body, but theirs, so when they are trying to get back at you they should think twice.

My sister and brother are in AA and NA and they have been sober for about 3 years. I am so grateful that they are alive today but the only reason I have stayed away from drugs is because I got to see firsthand the problems that mind-altering substances create. My sister had to have tens of thousands of dollars of work done on her teeth to save them from crystal meth, and she is 23 years old. She would have had to get dentures, had my parents not been able to pay to save them. This is the stuff that goes on, and teens that don’t get to see this first hand are more likely to self-sabotage themselves for the sake of claiming their independence.

When it comes to sex, you can still promote abstinence and let them know safe and healthy ways of having sex, because ultimately they will some day and its good to know. Sex Ed doesn’t cut it, ADULTS AND PARENTS TALK TO YOUR KIDS!! I cannot stress this enough. But the thing I mentioned before is that teens do have sexual urges, and it is proven that sexual repression, and religious poisoning pertaining to sexual things (that it is dirty, a sin, etc.) makes people never enjoy sex and have deep seated guilt for the rest of their lives, even when married or in a monogamous relationship. It is also proven that this is a key factor in many rapists and murderers upbringings. Its unhealthy, sex is natural and naturally everyone wants to do it. It doesn’t have to be embarrassing to talk about for anyone, just be open. Kids make it a big deal because adults do, because it’s not a big deal among us when there aren’t adults around. Knowledge and education are the only things that are going to keep your kids safe from emotionally destructive sexual habits and actions, as well as STD’s etc.

This is very long, but important.

Love Kaitlin Kristina

I didnt mean to post this a second time, but it wont let me delete it so I am editing it to just tell you that :)

Thank you.... I re-read it and it is a bit of a rant lol. Anyway I didn’t mean to come off so... intense, I guess. It’s just frustrating on both parts, adults and kids. And Bob, you are correct, there is lack of respect AND understanding on both sides. I relate to both and just wish more kids and adults could.

Kids- Don’t be stupid

Parents- Talk to your kids and guide them in the right direction.

I guess that’s my real point.

Love Kaitlin Kristina

PS. Read my poem "We," its featured on my profile. It is about this issue.

Its great, all your stuff is great. Very to the point, and a very good short version of "we" lol. More people need to read poems like this and do something about it, versus just bitching about it and giving their kids ritilan :).
Love Kaitlin Kristina

I only post in the explicit area because it allows you to swear. I guess. I don't remember if it does but I put all my poems there that swear.

Another thing to consider though is that kids dont pop out inconsiderate.... kids are conditioned to act the way that they do, so every parent has a chance to do it right, and if the kids end up inconsiderate or "bad" kids obviously something went wrong. Its not always the parents fault, but its normally an adults or other kids (such as intense teasing, abuse, etc.).

Andriana, you're 14, and you say you post in the explicit category. You're not supposed to, your under 18. Do you feel morally wrong about that? Not that you should, I am 16 and still post in that category, but I would be interested to see what your views are about it.

You are correct, as adults it becomes our job to rise above scarring wreckage that our parents or other adults may have imposed on us in our youth.

"Resentment is like taking poison in hopes your enemy will die."

This is something that I have heard often throughout my life and I completely and totally subscribe to the theory.

I am not removing accountability from kids who grow up into adults at all; it is their choice to hold onto their pain and emotional baggage. You cannot blame your parents for everything wrong that goes on in your life, at some point everyone has to make a conscious decision to not use the "apple never falls far from the tree" excuse and live their own lives.

However if kids are resentful of their parents it normally isn’t for no reason. They must over come this to live happy and successful lives, but as kids, teenagers, and young adults, it is a struggle to overcome these hurdles and not succumb to the things that happened in your past. I agree with you, however all children come out innocent and adapt to the environments that they are put into. Then they go out into the world and create their environment, and if no one shows them how to do it differently, how are they going to raise their kids? It all starts with the parents... that’s all I'm saying.

Kaitlin Kristina

I am 16, and what I account my intellect and wisdom to is the fact that I never gave anyone else enough power over me to make my life miserable, everything that happens in my life is under my control, and what I cannot control- well, I can control my response to it (emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, etc.). I have no control over people, places, and things, and the only thing I can change is myself.

I understood at a very early age that I came into this world alone, I would walk through it alone, and I would die alone. This may be depressing to some people, but the fact is that the only person you need to answer to and take care of is yourself. If each person subscribed to this theory no one would have to worry about anyone else, this is assuming people have ethics and morals and are decent people (then again, this is my perfect little fantasy world).

I grew up very independently and it didn’t take me long to discover that I need to be self-sufficient and accountable, what’s wrong with society today is all the finger pointing. The truth is that if you want to be happy you need to take control of your life and not blame others for what’s wrong. Don’t give other people the option to effect you negatively. Be above, and be yourself. You can wine and bitch all you want about the way things are, but no one is going to change it for you, and guess what? Everyone is out for themselves; so don’t expect anyone to take care of you without it benefiting them. Sad reality people.

I’m not pessimistic, really lol. Just reality oriented, and this is the reality of humanity today. I wish it were different, but its not.

Kaitlin Kristina

optimistically pessimistic... love it.

And Bob, you are again correct, it is ALWAYS the inside that needs more work than the outside, I dont care if you're Buddha himself....

Pre-occupation with the outside is a band-aid to cover the inside.

Seeking happiness through the eyes of the outside world only creates confusion on the inside of your world, because at the end of the day, you go to bed,

And you still dont know why you're unhappy :(

Mental comatose would be cool to experiance, but then again isnt that why so many genius' and poets are alcoholics and drug addicts???

Its dangerous to go inside your mind alone, the problem with these people is that they just never found their way out.

I'm too deep already... can I go back? Where's the map? Shit... the lights went out. lol.

Well the trees cant grow if the light doesnt make it in....

So there is the secret everyone.... Dont shut the sunlight (creativity, knowledge, what have you) out of your forest (your brain) and itll keep growing.

Oh, dont let it dry up either ;)

lol None of my explicits are from experiance, so your answer is no :)

But thats my exact point... wouldnt people prefer that kids write about it versus do it???? Sounds pretty good to me.

lol Always gald to make you smile :)