2 for 4 and detailed? First come, first serve.

Alright, I got two poems that need looking at. I'm willing to comment FOUR of your poems, if you comment TWO of mine, this applies to the first five who comment, the rest will be a 2 for 2 type of deal.

I need honest opinions on both of these, as these are lyrics I plan to actually use, so, any constructive criticism is greatly appreciated, and, of course, I'll be as thorough with my return comments as I can.

Thanks in advance.

http://www.poems-and-quotes.com/explicit/poems.php?id=1110973

http://www.poems-and-quotes.com/dark/poems.php?id=1091640

I'll return all comments some time this afternoon.

---EDIT---

I'm now doing DOUBLE for all comments I recieve, that means, you do 1, I do 2, you do 2, I do 4, and so on. Only meaningful comments will count, and this applies to EVERYONE. Thanks in advance.

Okay , I did both .. But I couldn't really comment on the second one much , so you can just do three of mine . Nicely done though :) .

I'll do four - a deals a deal. ^_^

Doing them here in the next 30 minutes (didnt get the chance earlier, and Im at work now).

Anyone else?

Alright, no problem let me check them out now. Probably just one depends on the poem.

Riches and Witches

Ill return all comments tonight, sorry I'm falling behind - today's me and my lovers first anniversary, so, Im focused on that.

Alright.

Holly and Evanescence are done. Michael and Zeenat - you're both next :D - will finish these up here in a bit.

Anyone else?

Ok Michael, I commented the poem you left me, and once I get home I'll comment another, then get to reading yours Zeenat :D

Sorry I'm so far behind guys, I'll finish this all up before the end of the day.