This is Killing Me

Ok so my bf was with his ex for 3 years and shes the only other gf he has ever had
i guess im wondering whether hes still into her.
ok so i have never been a jealous person but we were fighting on the phone the other day and he said to me at least my ex is attractive. i tried not to let on that it hurt me. but he always brings up stories about her how i remind him of her, pretty sure he's even said to me you and paige are exactly alike. guess im kinda feeling like her replacement and he's only with me cause were similar

"he said to me at least my ex is attractive."

That's a blatant insult and one I would not ignore, never settle or let someone make you feel like they are settling for you.

I agree with her ^^^.

You deserve MUCH better then him. Its obvious he hasn't moved on from his ex, & since he can't be with her hes with you. Only because you remind him of her which isn't a good thing. When he looks at you he sees his ex. You need to move on because nobody deserves that. If hes only talking about his ex its clear shes who he wants not you. Its harsh to here girl, but you really don;t deserve that.

Hear* not here.

3 years is a long time,
how long have you been dating him?

well i personally dont think you should put up with him always comparing and reminding you that you look like his ex because to me it says he still misses or he still thinks alot about her. and that is not good.. try to tell him how you feel about him always bring her up? but hopefully things work out...

It's natural sometimes to compare, especially if he only has had one other girl in his life romantically, it's easy to form an idea of "this is what it should be". 3 years is a long time to be in a relationship though, of course there's still going to be left over emotions.

How long was it between when he and his ex broke up and you started dating him? Maybe he needed more time. And how long have you two been dating? If it's been longer then a few months then he needs to realize you are YOURSELF and not his ex and you are the one he is with.

Try calmly discussing how it makes you feel to always be compared to her and the comments that hurt the most. If he doesn't change or at least make an effort to focus on you then I don't think he's ready to be in another relationship hun and should either go back to his ex or spend some time with himself for a while, it can take a while to get your head in the right place after having invested that much time into a relationship.

Never settle for second best hun, you deserve to be cared for for YOU. Never choose to be someones option instead of their first choice

I had been with my ex for three years, so honestly i understand how you bf feels. But, although I still love my ex, I am moving on, and that love is leftovers. If he was really over her, he would not bring her up. Not nearly as much as u say he does, and he would most definitely not compare you to her. And the whole bit bout "at least my ex is attractive" thats totally disrespectful. In my opinion, as someone who was in his shoes, he's not over her, and you can do better, cuz obviously not even trying. And he wont be over her till He truly wants to be, so dont sit around and wait. Find better gurl =)

Thanks guys you all really helped

argh i hate this

You'll be okay<3

I'm going through alot with my guy right now too. But keep your head up!