Ridiculous Poems

I will dedicate this thread for you to post the really ridiculous poems that came from the contest.

You may post your own poems here, or, if you have read one that stands out on another clubs thread.

Please only post one poem at a time, and do not group them altogether.... my eyes need nice and simple short posts for a while!! ;)

This one CRACKED me up!

From Noura:

3. War

Put it back
in
your pants or I'll
declare war

Colm's

2.7 Furniture

Spring in my arse, cushions worn,
uncomfortable with fabrics torn,
to sit here longer I cannot bare,
honey I think we need a new chair.

Abby's

There once was a bonny lass
who frolicked on large fields of grass,
she smiled as she skipped,
then frowned when she tripped
and looked like real royal ass.

OMG Colm. Bahaha.

This was is Narph's:

2.) pnq'er

There are three things I want right now:
Sibs
Jordan
Kevin
Doing their part.
#notbitter

BAHAHA really?!

Noura, killing it with a stationary prompt:

I haven't worked out today.
I'm feeling fat.
And I love pencils.

I loved Narph and Abby when things got ridiculous... lmao. Another Narphism:

2.) someone else

Britt, please stop posting.
Go put your toes in the sand
and drink your tea.

Hahaha, Britt that whole exchange we had going was too good!!

Darren's

1.1 freestyle and form

Holy crap,
can you believe this prompt
a freestyle poem
then drop in a form
I am all written out
but one thing I can do
is add on the end
a senryu

he scratches his head
puzzled at the lack of thought
going into this

Jane:

5. Must include at least one rhyme.

It might be rude
to play with your food,
but nobody notices when you're a dude
in the nude.

Narph:

3.) crime
IT'S A CRIME
to be this motivated
at smashing people
with our poetry

quite agree, damn ... we're competetive :')

Hellon

My world is
now pear shaped
(well I know my a**
definitely is) from
sitting in front of the computer
trying to get my blue
fingers to type something
that still makes some sense.

Jane has us pretty well pegged.

Darren's a sweetie
and would never think
to sneak around the rules,
but TC's never been one for
walking the straight and narrow.
If cleverness is a crime... we're all guilty.
Miss Rainbow failed to mention
one poem per post, and yes,
we certainly triple checked.
If we win, we'll win with
all tricks played.

Uh oh, dangerous mod, Jane:

3. Include a crime, or mention prison, or both!

Would it really be a crime
if somehow all FOP's accounts
were suspended in the homestretch?
:3

my heart stopped for a second haha

Britt

6.2 Funny

I tripped, I trapt, I liffed, I laffed
and realized
I couldn't spell a word
I decided to try
spackling my eye
and realized you were a turd.

I still smile when I read this one by everlasting:

Okay, Okay

once, there was a bear

.....

that's it.

Britt.. again!!

8.2 Funny

There once was a man named Joe
who decided he needed to blow
his nose, you pervert, don't you know
kids on this website, they do go!

Hellon:

Poem to self...

You must stop
pming members begging
them to join
the Independents
obviously they
don't WANT to!!

Nicko's funny poem

There once was a lass named Abby
Long, lean with tits that were flabby
She' hang around bars
Go home in strange cars
Her behaviour was really quite shabby

The poop lap by Narph was the best thing I've read in a while.
Also, this was epic:

2)
I like paper that crinkles
as it's tossed in the trash
covered in crap poems

3.)
I like people who commit
crimes
and toss them in the trash

4.)
I dislike people who have to be poor
let's toss poverty
in the
trash

5.)
Trash is cool
but don't be fools!
recycle!

I was laughing all the time throughout this contest.
Will read FOPs poems now and come back to this thread.

This one cracked me up...from Darren

Sofa sporting arse groove
a sign of laziness
a sign of aloof
those that are successful
that drive the best motors
don't have an arse groove
in their sofas

This one from Colm...

3. Crime/prison

I have half a mind to, with my modly
buttons to put Noura in the penalty box prison
and throw away the key!
_______________________________________

I don't know how many times I thought....All these mods participating....how could I bribe them into making certain threads and members simply....disappear lol!!!

All of Darrens furniture poems were brilliant.

And Colm:

I have half a mind to, with my modly
buttons to put Noura in the penalty box prison
and throw away the key!

WTF? Hahahah.

Edit: Hellon, we posted it at the same time! Hah!

^^^

and..apparently have similar tastes in humour lol!!!

By Luce:

1. Must mention ONE animal AND ONE NUMBER

Nah, the two love birds sang with me.
They sang and sang
Until they stopped singing to hear me.
Then they tilted their heads,
Opened their eyes wide, and flew away.

O_O

AND

By Hellon:

I stood on a pile
of dollars
Gosh how it made me
feel taller..

Then out of the blue
I lost one high heel shoe
fell over and now I feel smaller.

HAHAHAHAH

Someone wrote a poem about bras that made me laugh....can't remember who it was now?

Abby

Hmm I think I did something about bras on day 1 but I forgot after writing so much ...

colm:

A funny poem, now this is tough,
It's the first round, already I've had enough!
Humourous moments, let me think...
Tumbling show-offs at the ice rink?
Deaf Mary thinking she's a singer
All the while Charlie's biting fingers.
Thanks for the laughs, youtube stars,
Keep filming your mishaps and you'll go far

Britt:

Twinkle, twinkle,
fiddle dee dee,
I can't hold it,
I must go pee!
With only one bathroom
I'm bursting at the seams
I'll have to piddle in my bed
I've happened to pee in my dream!

Hahah. Oh god.

By Colm: 7. Furniture

This poem is a test. It isn't
a poem at all and I am going to 
mention a random piece of furniture
(chair). And nobody will notice. 

Shhhh.