Formed Poetry challenge #7

This will be my final challenge for you guys. If anyone wants to continue with this please feel free to take over. Sonnets have always seemed to be more accepted on this site than other forms so..I'll leave you with a sonnet with a difference...

http://www.shadowpoetry.com/resources/wip/shadowsonnet.html

I have a couple of these posted on my account for anyone interested.

I hope you have enjoyed learning something new in poetry for some and, for others, just refreshing what you may have learned previously (as in my case) and then forgotten about.

thanks Hellon for hosting these formed challenges. I for one have enjoyed them; not only the challenge, but helping where I can. It is a shame the interest in them dwindled, as it was really, for a time, a buzz for this site. It seems like most novelties, they wear thin.

This particular challenge will, I sure, scare most writers off. Writing a sonnet is a challenge at the best of times, let alone, a shadow sonnet where you repeat the first and last words in each line.

I have written one of these many years ago - I must admit, it was tricky and not very good. I will, and I suggest to others, to read examples to see the methods used to force the lines to offer the repeated last word. Maybe it is worth posting any attempt here for critique from other members?

So, writing lines, a sonnet hurts me so
my brain becomes so numb, I say, oh my
if help is what you need, Im saying, if
reveal a line for us to help reveal (the inner poet)
^
this is just a quick attempt - but you can see how is it can be done. I haven't bothered with using rhyme, or tried to write a whole sonnet; that would be too difficult and off-putting. Don't even get bogged down with meter.

Any questions - just ask here; I am sure someone (me, Ben? Kitty?, Luce?... will try and help.

Write a line, a couplet, a quatrain, or, if you want to go for it, a whole sonnet of 10 syllables per line to see if you can:

Hellon, I would also like to say thanks for this. It has been a good excercise in writing forms.

I was looking through some of my old club posts (history, your posts) and found that 5 years ago I publicly declared never to write a sonnet again. Nothing gets me more annoyed than attempting sonnets.

However

If I can find a spare hour this week I will give it a go. I might go ‘off’ on one again like I did after trying to write a Rondeau

I would also like to continue these challenges going forward with 2 options each week. These challenges have helped boost the weekly contest with a wider variety of poems each week nominated.
Even if I am the only soul still playing I will keep it going.

Anybody on this site can jump in and have a go. We don’t bite on this forum anymore. If I pick a form you enjoy, dive in.

This is definitely something worth looking forward to.

Title: To the Stranger On the Computer (Shakespearean Shadow Sonnet)

Today, I'll write a sonnet. Yes, today.
And so, I'm here with hands on keyboard, and...
astray, lost in thought. Yes, fully astray.
Hand to me attention. Give me a hand.
Awake me. Don't be scared. Keep me awake.
When poetry captures me that's when...
heartache... my chest aches. Oh, this heartache!
Then joy engulfs me and I breathe life then.
But once again this pain that's nothing but...
( Ah, I don't know how I should call it, ah! )
just THAT - an ACHE, returns to me to just...
(Ha, I don't know the reason why, but ha!)

I think I feel alive again, don't I?
thereby, the ache is gone! I've woken up, thereby.

Note: the last line has 12 syllables. It needs the extra two. So I just let them be. Unless there’s another way to rewrite that last line.

——————————————————

Title: Love Me So —- Couplet Shadow Sonnet

With lips that kiss my lips till I'm left with
With nothing but a crave to be just with
I guess... to be with you, my dear, can't I?
I know you love me so, and so do I!
Then why must we give up on our love then?
Then why can't we just fight for this love then?
Please tell me why oh why we can't, dear, please?
Please tell me why our love can't be, oh please!
You know that life can be unfair, don't you?
You know THAT, and you are scared, aren't you?
Though with love there's not a thing to fear though
Though with love there's nothing we can't do though

So be with me, my dear, and love me so
So be with me, and let me love you so.

Written by: L.L.

After reading Hellon's Shadow Sonnet, I had to give this form a try. It's challenging.

April 18, 2016
http://www.poems-and-quotes.com/poems/1249920

Hopefully, I’ll find sometime to write soon.

Hi All :)
Thanks so much Hellon for starting this great poetry spread, and to all others who have helped in various ways - much appreciated :)

So another challenge, okay so here goes

'Poets society'

Show us to a way so we can then show
Train us in ways so as we can then train
grow more within us so others can grow
feign all will spoil so be true and not feign
flow with the heart and poetry will flow
pain we shall share showing others our pain
know you are honest as this we must know
gain is the game so work hard for the gain
stow words with great care but not over stow
claim all our efforts then joy we can claim
glow in your work and for always you’ll glow
aim with love and let our quills take their aim
be gallant and bold and brave we shall be
see all that we write so that all can see

these are both great efforts, not sure if the Iambic pentameter is correct because I am crap at IP

my rule of thumb for ME writing a sonnet is this;

Have you wrote a sonnet?
Yes? then its wrong
No? Good job, because if you did it would be wrong.

Well done for contributing something guys.

EDIT** I will let this one run for a few more days before I post the next challenge.

Thanks Hellon for starting these challenges :-)
New job and a house move mean less time for my hobby at the mo, but I'll be back and I will absolutely try this challenge! :-)

Per the link Hellon gave us, iambic pentameter is not required for this sonnet

Here’s my effort:

Waking Dream

Back in dream time we kept each other’s back
love permeated all that we gave love
track of game came easily and on track
above all we remembered those above
then came fire and wheel and ever since then
all woke to nightmares encompassing all
when asleep it seemed I could always win
y’all must know we’re sinking - come man the yawl.
Hope there must be: a way to save our hope
even if we must bring all things even
cope with evil and help others to cope
leavin’ no one on refugee ships leavin’
Dream time memories can inspire a dream
team players work together for the team.

I'm glad you all enjoyed the various challenges. It's nice to see formed poetry getting the acknowledgement I feel it deserves. Hope you will all continue on in Darren's thread.

sorry, my homework is late:

Retell my tarnished mirror, please retell
Why blocks of light obscured the light, oh why?
I tell thee that today this beat is I,
For only for myself I can speak for
Alight my soul desire, my love, alight
On meadow lush the song still lingers on
Delight becomes a pleasure, pure delight
Be gone thy darkness perils, now be gone
Behold now natures gifts, surround, behold
Shadows always seep into the shadows
Return to summer day, I have returned
Bright days are in my heart forever bright
If darkness dwells within, I say, but if:
Allow the mother world inside, allow

Larry....I thought I'd come back and check this challenge...

when asleep it seemed I could always win
^^
This line doesn't follow the shadow

y’all must know we’re sinking - come man the yawl.

^^

I'm counting 11 syllables in this line but I think it's the way I say y'all which sounds like 2 syllables in my accent so...with your southern drawl how does it sound?

Michael....

Return to summer day, I have returned

^^^

this line does not follow the shadow