*****Random Things*****

this here is were you post anything, but it has to be stupid or funny! It can be anything! I'll start:

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k that didnt work *edits*

i love that name, Bob, it is my dragon's name and my soon to be frog's name.

the last person who posted picked their nose and gave me the boogers....ew...now i shall give it to the next person who posts....SUCKER....
~Freakin Boogers~

I pooped in my pants... this helped me understand what poo was! get ready to crack up!

*The Poopie List*

GHOST POOPIE: The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.

CLEAN POOPIE: The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

WET POOPIE: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you won't ruin them with stains.

SECOND WAVE POOPIE: This happens when you're done poopie-ing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize that you have to poopie some more.

POP-A VEIN-IN-YOUR-FOREHEAD POOPIE: The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.

LINCOLN LOG POOPIE: The kind of poopie that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.

GASSY POOPIE: It's so noisy, that everyone within earshot is giggling.

DRINKER'S POOPIE: The kind of poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.

CORN POOPIE: Self explanatory.

GEE-I-WISH-I-COULD-POOPIE POOPIE: The kind where you want to poopie but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.

SPINAL TAP POOPIE: That's where it hurts so badly coming out, you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.

WET CHEEKS POOPIE (The Power Dump): The kind that comes out so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with water.

THE DANGLING POOPIE: This poopie refuses to drop in the toilet even though you are done poopie-ing it. You just hope that a shake or two will cut it loose.

THE SURPRISE POOPIE: You're not even at the toilet because you are sure you are about to fart, but *oops* --- a poopie!

That cracks me up every time!

From FUNNYJUNK.COM

Here is another fuuny think from that site! its callled

Female Comebacks!

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

More fuuny stuff

How To Get Out Of A Traffic Ticket!

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.

The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too!

BANANA

Restroom Poetry

The following are poems found inscribed in public restrooms
(fill in the blanks using your imagination):

Here I lie in stinky vapor,
Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger,
Or shall I be forced to use my finger.

Here I sit
Broken hearted
Tried to ****
But only farted

Here I sit
What a caper
I have to ****
But I'm out of paper

You're lucky
You had your chance
I tried to fart,
And **** my pants!

Some people come here to take a ****,
I came here to leave one.

Some come here to sit and think,
Some come here to **** and stink,
But I come here to scratch my balls,
And read the bull**** on the walls...

Here I sit, I'm at a loss
trying to **** out taco sauce.
When it comes, I hope and pray,
I don't blow my ass away

(Written high upon the wall)
If you can piss above this line,
the Hillsboro Fire Department wants you.

(Seen above a urinal)
Please do not throw cigarette butts in our urinal.
We don't piss in your ashtrays!

(Scratched into the paint of the condom-dispensing machine)
"Don't buy this gum, it tastes like rubber."

(Under a sign that said: "Employees Must Wash Hands")
I waited and waited, but I finally washed them myself.

The peanut married the banana and they had weird babies! It was a peanut in a banana peal!

Does anyone get it??

amanda: yea thats my favourite name 4 a guy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i dont get it? wel i do get it but i dont get the point if there is 1.........

mmmm fucking turtles in the ass all night long so that i can.... butterflies i love butterflies because... wow i didnt know they got that big