Ending It All.....

OK, before I post this I would like to set a few things straight:
1) Firstly I am NOT posting this to get sympathy from any one.
2) I am NOT posting this to seek attention.
3) I AM posting this so that anybody who knows me on this site will know where I have gone and will not try to reach me unsuccessfully.
4)I AM posting this mainly for my own benefit, so that I can try and clarify my reasons in my own head.

Anyway now that is all said;
Earlier today, this morning I started to take an overdose, of a mixture of things mainly paracetamol, aspirin and beer, but with a few other drugs thrown in as well. I have since been adding to that overdose throughout the day, and only now started to feel the effects. To explain why, more for my benefit than anything else, I was attacked again a few days back and was abused by my family throughout my childhood, as some of my poetry comments on. I guess this last attack just pushed me over the edge and I've decided that I can't take living anymore. I know some of you will feel that this overdose is any easy way out, and to a certain extent you are probably right, but it feels like my only option. If this doesn't work then I will try and find another way of dieing, as that's the only thing I have to look forward to now.

I've been feeling this way for a while now and decided it's finally time to take action on my thoughts. Anyway I know that some people will 'BASH' me for typing this, but then what will it matter if I'm not around to hear it? I have already explained my reasons above, so whatever you want to type feel free.

Nici

Nici, I know you don't know me, but please DON'T DO THIS TO YOUR SELF!! I care about people and I'm not going to BASH you or anything...But, you really shouldn't do things like that! I've thought about it but my life got better...then worse...now just a little better and it will be like that for you too! If you have good friends, that support you in anything you do, you won't do this! ANd if you need anything, I'll always be here for you no matter what...just sed me a private message and I WILL REPLY TO YOU AND HELP YOU THROUGH WHATEVER IT IS YOU NEED HELP WITH!! Just think about what I said, PLEASE!

~Amanda~Mandi~Mana

I am in the same boat with you. Things aren't exactly peachy in my life, either, but I haven't killed myself... Rethink this. If you need to talk, I'm here.

XxS*AngelxX

Nici PLEASE STOP! There are many people that care for you and will miss you greatly. Don't finish up, it's not your fault. Don't go through with it.

Cant you see Nici's gone all ready? Theres nothing we can do. She was weak and she gave up. All we can do is stop ourselves from following her footsteps... Look at that this site has done to some of you guys!! Sure poetry is great but some of these forums just make people sad and upset like this one so BLOCK IT!!!

I would suggest you get help my dear! Popping pills is not the way to "solve" your problems. Get professional help.

It's too late for help. By the looks of things, she's already gone.

I highly doubt that.

Ok well if what she is saying IS true, then she's likely to be gone. If it's not true, then she's pathetic.

Even if it was true she's not gone....

Ok, Natalie, you lost me.... lol

Why would she not be gone? :S I'm kinda lost ..

Haha, me too Kim!!!! Ha, let's play a game until they come back! lol! (wow...i'm a little too cheerful for this thread...sorry, if you come back..i can't help it...it's just in my nature)

*plays patty cake on Kim's head* hehehe

Lol!! Yeah me too .. o well. *Patty cake patty cake Baker's man, bake me a cake as fast as you can* hehehehe.

What's a patty cake???

I don't know...i think it's supposed to be one of those kinky cakes where Patty comes out and sings a song or dances or something...

eww...and we teach our kids that these days? oh my! lol!

NEW SONG!

*twinkle twinkle little star how i wonder what you are* or w.e. blah blah blah..

just don't start singing Ring Around the Rosie..that's a baaaaaaaad song, lol.

God these people reating their kinky nursery rhymes! In Captain Pugwash which happens to be a children's cartoon, they have one person called Master Bates, and someone called Semon Staines. I was like :O:O:O:O

How thick is that song? It starts singing and says twinkle twinkle little STAR, then asks what it is? I mean come on! Dumbass song!

Hahahaha I KNOW!! lol! I felt a little weird writing that!

hahaahhahahaha ewwwwwwww!! lol! hahahah which cartoon? cuz I think my brother watches that!! lol!!

I can imagine now

"And today on Captain Pugwash--Master Bates tips the ship over with semon staines behind him. Will the Master Bates rise again? Or will Semon Staines escape???"

LMFAO!!!!

Captain Pugwash

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are great!!!

HAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHA thanks!! lol!! lmfao!! This is too fun, and i feel dirty writing that now! lmfao!!!!

hahahaahahahha i keep reading that over and over!! hahaaha!!!

PUGWASH?? IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE DIRTY TOO?? lol!!!!

laaaaaaaaa

okay I'm done.

I don't know, Pugwash seems kind of dirty doesn't it ...
LMAO it's a great ending to a CHILDREN'S programme :P

brandon why would you say that?
ppl who commit suicide are blinded, they dont see right or dont think anything is there for them..i just think ur comment was kinda harsh..
Nici: like nat said, popping pills isnt the answer, you dont have to give up life just because things go bad, sort them through.
If your still here that is.....

Hiya guys,

OMG I am so sorry about what has been posted above, I don't know what I was thinking at the time? Well I do, but still that doesn't justify what was posted!

Anyway, I feel asleep that night, but woke up early hours of the morning, feeling really ill. When I had sobered up a bit and realised what I had done, I contacted the A&E department at the Hospital and was admitted. They ran some blood tests, and ECG heart trace and some other tests, then put me on a drip with an antidote to the paracetmol. I stayed in for a couple of days, and had two drug filled drips and them some saline to stop me from dyhrdrating. I then had to see the CPN (Mental Health Team) and talk through why I did it in the first place, I was quite surprised that, that really helped! They've helped me set up some counselling in my city, so I can come to terms with what has happened.

Again I am sorry for posting this thread in the first place. I can only hope you will forgive me as I was very drunk, upset and wasn't really thinking straight.

Nici

You were very drunk and not thinking straight, yet you wrote a perfectly clear post, correct with grammar and spelling.

gotta agree wiht that one..doesnt make a lot of sense...but i guess ur better now nici so thats a good thing. keep at gettin better but

And also when they realise they're getting bashed for the posts, they all come on sahying OMG I didn't know what I was doing, I don't know why I wrote it etc ...

lol..yeh quite funny.. but u gotta admit some ppl r so harsh on these threads...

Oh yeah but I find them all incredibly funny! I do it myself sometimes, I can be so blunt but then I will give a decent answer if I feel they need it.

yeh fair enough...wat this is all for i guess

Yup. Lol so anyway how you doing? We're two conversations at once lol :P

so the suicide was fake then

I suppose so Georgi. And i also agree, after dosing yourself with alcohol and pills, you were able to TYPE on a computer with clear messages?? Hmm...

Peaces.

See....I told you it wasn't her end.

I think i actually believed you the first time Natalie. But i kept wondering "why would she say that?" but now it doesn't matter. :P

Peaces.

Firstly it's not about saying 'OMG' because people start 'bashing' what I post, as I think Kim said above. It is about how I felt at the time and then later on after I had dealt with what I'd done. Also no I wouldn't class it is a 'fake' suicide because at the time I meant to and had every intention of doing it.

The fact that someone is drunk does not nessecarily (sp?) mean that they are unable to type a post in correct English with grammar. Equally someone who is completely sober can post a very incoherent message, as seen on this website many times.

Nici

Nici what the hell are you talking about?

I wasn't trying to help...just stating she was ok as everyone was worrying about her...You're annoying. Like a little gnat at a barbeque

How clever...

It wasn't a compliment.

Ok vega...seriously that was clever...very funny too...