Help for my impossible 13 year old

I have a son who is soon to be 13 and doesn't listen to a thing I tell him. If I ask him what I said he says"I don;t know"or "I forgot" I try to be a good Mom .Can any teenagers tell me what I am doing wrong from their point of veiw

I've tried to take away t.v , playstation ect but it only works for a few days . The biggest problem is school .I try to no end for him to do his homework and last year he would forget books ,tests ect. I buy him things and take him to eat out almost every week but he doesn't seem happy . Maybe it is just being a teenager or maybe I'm the problem

i would never say things like that to my mom cause i know she wouldnt take it. along the line your son has probably realize you will take it so you have to put your foot down...HARD!

That's exactly what his tutor said and she is a retired school teacher. She said I'm to easy on him but I always thought I was being to mean .Sometimes I think he has a learning problem and doesn't quite comprehend what I tell him but the social worker said he was only a little behind for his age group.His father is stricter and he listens to him (out of fear maybe *L*) just joking his father is great to him . But maybe I'm a little soft. I also have a son that is 5 so maybe it could be a little jelousy .I also have Multiple Sclerosis and some days I just can't give him all the attention he deserves. Hopefully this year in school will be better since he is now in high school

ya plus things could also go the other way. If you are too hard and strict on him he will do things just to be rebellious. Theres got to be a happy medium

That is so true I never thought of it that way .God now I'm remembering the things I did at 13 (hanging my head in shame) Thank you all so much and I will try your tactics and cross my fingers .He really is a great kid maybe I just don't tell him that often enough.Anyone else with a suggestion or comment my ears are always open Thanks all

Oh my god that was insane . A slap on the hand for touching something dangerous but busting their lips open .I think not !!!! Why would I beat something I created ? If I want to beat something I'd buy a punching bag .Yes I do think a slap on the butt never hurt anyone but beating ????? We even go to jail for beating animals and a woman has never given birth to one of them .

Beating? No. Whipping their ass until they mind what you say? YES.

I got whipped when i was younger...best believe i don't do those things...in front of my momma anymore. Lol

//Ari\\

Just leave him to it. Tell him if he doesnt do his homework its his own fault if he cant get a job when he leaves school. He will need his space at this age tho so just try not to bug him, he may be young but that does not mean he has not got his own problems.

I am one of those people who are told to do something and just go do the exact opposite....bc you know...i do what i feel like doing....lol...i dont like people telling me what to do and i mean maybe it is the same way for him....just set a lot of guidelines and tell him that if he doesnt do it he will miss out on something he really enjoys....

but then again it could be the awkward teenage stage where they want absolutely nothing to do with parents what-so-ever bc you know.... it is totally uncool...lol..i dono... i guess i need more information on how he is acting....it could be many things....hope this helped....luv yas mwah'

-kayla-

lmao! I love that article JPM

Usually "I forgot" or "I don't know", means "I remember" and "I know, but I'm not telling you". Teenage guys liketheir privacy, and don't want their parents involved in everything. Instead of punishing him or whatever, sit him down and talk to him. Sometimes it's better for a father to do this kind of discussion, because you never know what the problem is. And most boys are more comfortable talking to their dads, just like girls are better with their moms. And don't dance around your questions- look him straight in the eyes and ask directly "What's going on with you?" It could be something minor, like grades, etc... or it could be something major like drugs or sex. It's best not to think the worst, because if you go in thinking your kid is the spawn of Satan and must have done the worst things possible, he won't talk. Keep it casual, but still firm, if that makes any sense. But good luck, and I hope the situation isn't as serious as it could be.

He is a well mannered boy but it's the listening I have the problem with . We bought him a bike last summer and in a few short weeks he simply tore it apart .So of coarse my parents (who side with him no matter what) get him another this year and guess what ....he tore it apart .So then my brother gave him one and we told him clearly "do not take it apart' what does he do..(you really don't even have to guess) So his birthday is on Sunday and he told my mom that he wanted a trick bike and that his dad said maybe but when I asked his dad he said " no I said no cause he will just tear it apart" my mom was like oh well that's what boys do and GAB GAB GAB ON AND ON. The worst part is ....my house is right next door to my parents .
Maybe he knows they will always stick up for him?????
He asks to go out for a bike drive everyday (on the only half decent bike he still has partly together no seriously we made sure the brakes worked) either after I get home from work or after school now that they are back in . I tell him be home at 5:30 for supper which gives him 2 hours but 3 hours later he is still not home and I have to go look for him and when I find him I say " What time did I tell you to be home ' and his reply is "I didn't hear you " or " I didn't have a watch" so I ground him from his bike for a few days but he's right back at it the first chance he gets

He's your child, you should be the one making all the rules. Put your foot down and learn how to say NO to everybody. Lock his bike up, take it away (especially if hes tearing it up) I bet you he wont be able to ride it then.. and If somebody gets him a new one, return it or give it to some other kid. simple as that! Don't even let him ride it once.

Talking and trying to reason with him is not the way...you need to take some action. If you say you're going to do something than do it. You play around with him and he'll play around with you. If he knows your serious, he will be too.

wintersolstice: your post is hilarious

Sell him for child labor.

Or get him a frontal labotamy.

Or lighten up a little.

He doesn't sound that bad, after all.

♥Niki

hey Luanne
The first thing that I want to tell you is that the problem is not you. Although it may be the way that you have trained him. I mean if when he was younger you always gave in to him, and he always got his way, and when he did sumthing wrong you didnt discipline him, theres your problem.. Once you let your kids start to get away with that stuff, they will keep pushing you.. its a subconscious matter to him, hes pushing you to see how far he can push it, to see how much you'll take, and if i were you i would stop it all right now, cuz as he gets older its only going to get worse.. because right now he doesnt want to do what you ask him to do, imagine when hes like 16, 17 and you tell him not to do drugs or drink or have sex or whatever, hes going to know that even if he does do it, what are you gunna do? dont let him control you, you need to be the boss, he may not like it, but he'll thank you for it later.
now as far as how do you get him to do the things that you want him to do, when you tell him to clean his room tell him he's got 15 mins to do and you'll be back to check, and if its not done he's grounded from everything {tv, internet, video games, friends, phone} im talking everything.. hey if taking away one thing dont work then take it all away, he might need to spend more time with the family, maybe you need to reinforce the importance of family and the fact that hes the kid and your the parent... i dont know if your a church going woman or not, but the bible says to discipline your kids, and train them in the way they should go oso when they are old they will not depart from it. and he's still young enough to where if you need to, then spank him! like i said hes the kid and your the parent, dont be a softy! lay down the law girl, and hold to it, dont give in to him.. set household rules like
*no talking back
*do what your told the first time you told
*no tv till your homeworks done
*make you bed and clean your room b4 you go outside
things like that, structure is nessecary for kids.
just be firm, but dont forget to always send in positive reinforcment also.. kids want to know that they are loved by their parents, they want to know that you are there for them. always tell them you love them even if they dont say back.

when i was younger and i would do sumthing wrong, my dad would spank me, and then he's come sit down with me adn explain why i got spanked, and tell me that he loved me and thats why he did it, cuz he didnt want me to be a bad girl when i get older... and i love my dad soo much for that! do your kids a favor, discipline them! : ) hope i helped a little!
keep doing a good job!
*KISSES*~Corrie

Thank you all so much ...last night I told him to sit down at the table and get all his homework done and he did . I would usually say is your homework done and he'd say I'll do it later but this time I didn't give him the option. His dad corrected it and he had 5/30 wrong on his math but (that was fine) cause atleast it was done without a fight . So we gave it back to him and told him to correct it and voila ...it was complete . No fighting , no arguements WHEW ! nice for once .Thanks ever so much xx oo